


the long way home

by tinysoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Dark, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Power Dynamics, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, Top Park Chanyeol, Underage - Freeform, Will add more tags as I go, squint to find it, vices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25332190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinysoo/pseuds/tinysoo
Summary: Baekhyun's stuck in a toxic, unending routine that slowly strips him off his soul and leads him into nothing but his own ruination.Jongin and Chanyeol are stuck in a struggle for power dynamics in their two-year relationship.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 26
Kudos: 79





	1. solitude

**Author's Note:**

> hi! welcome to this fic! i assume you’re fine with all the tags if you’re reading this now but it is not too late to back out because this fic will get really dark and violent in the latter parts!
> 
> if you still wanna read, then enjoy and i hope you have fun!
> 
> p.s. the ages are adjusted! baekhyun is 18, jongin is 28 and chanyeol is 29
> 
> p.s. there are a few references to shawn mendes’ bad reputation because it’s a really good song that fits the mood of this fic.
> 
> enjoy! ♡

_//_

It shouldn't have bothered Baekhyun.

It shouldn't have bothered Baekhyun when he had already been doing this for so long that he has decided to forget about feelings and throw his dignity down the drain. 

“Such a fucking slut, ain’t ya?” The unknown man hissed as he roughly gripped Baekhyun’s soft thighs. He pounded relentlessly into the younger who laid pliant on the bed of a motel.The bed shook violently with every thrust of the man's hip and bit by bit, Baekhyun could feel his mind slip into a hazy space.

He felt nothing. There was not even a single pinch of pleasure that could at least make him feel better with what he was doing. He felt horrible and he swears to any supreme being out there that if the man above him does not finish any time soon, he'll be puking his guts out. Fortunately, the man finished off with a shameless groan and pulled out, tying the condom before dropping it somewhere in the dark. Baekhyun could only grimace in disgust as the man rolled off to the side and finally passed out in exhaustion. 

It was the good thing with old men. They quickly got tired and Baekhyun would have enough time to take his pay, pick up his clothes and grab a few extra bucks before he sneaked out of the room. 

His hair was utterly a mess and his clothes weren't any better. His cheeks heated up as he passed by the counter. 

The female receptionist who was either drunk, forced to do the job, or both, threw him a dirty look. The familiar woman with thin, arched brows has probably seen him more than five times with five different men and Baekhyun was positive she knew exactly he does.

He had been in these places for more than he could count but a small part of him still gets irked knowing that somewhere in the shady building, there would be shady people doing shady business. Somewhere along the way, he managed to learn how to keep a calm facade to keep his clients satisfied. That small part of him didn’t matter though because he certainly preferred being in motels instead of a random old man’s own house where god knows what could go on if he happened to be arranged with a serial killer. 

The young boy shivered into his coat, seeking for warmth in the cold winter night as he walked to the bus stop through the dark streets. It was already quite late into the night and being outside wasn’t the safest in their cold, merciless town where junkies and shady people mostly resided. The cold gnawed at his pale skin that stuck to his bones, hardly any body fat p resent in his scrawny body. One of the things he hated the most was the cold, certainly because he could never stand it when his nose got red and his fingertips became frigid. He doesn’t think he will ever like the cold.

Baekhyun sat on a metal seat, waiting for the last bus to come, as he counted the pay and went through the couple bucks. Only a tired sigh could come out of his swollen lips, his breath swirling into a smoke as it hit the cold air. His sunken eyes stared into the empty, lifeless road which had nothing but a few broken orange lamp posts. 

He brought a hand up to furiously brush his black hair that messily fell back on his forehead. His other hand fisted on the bills he’d earned, crumpling it in utter loss. It wasn't long until the utility bills were due and the lights in his run-down apartment would be cut off.

Before he could sink deeper into the sea of worrying about his piled up bills that came crashing at him in big, furious waves, he felt his own stomach rumble, the hunger finally catching up to remind his system that he needed to eat something if he even wished to survive. He was exhausted and his body could barely hold him up after a hectic Sunday night buzz at the local pub, retro and having his ass fucked by the client arranged for him.

He contemplated about going to a convenience store for a quick bite but the last bus would arrive in a few minutes and he figured it’d be a lot worse for him if he had to walk all the way to his apartment. He slashed the store out of his list and thought back to when he last cooked food at home. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if there would be anything at all in the cupboard but he would have to take his chances. 

Baekhyun whipped his head up at the sound of the bus that halted right in front of him. The doors let out a loud hiss of air as it opened. With the very little energy Baekhyun had, he pushed himself up to enter the bus and tapped his card before plopping his heavy body at a seat somewhere in the middle, exhaling loudly like he had just run a marathon. 

The ride passed like a blur and it took him a while to realize that the bus finally reached the stop a few blocks from his apartment and he quickly rushed up. With his head down, he muttered an apology when the driver stared at him in annoyance, probably waiting for him to get the hell out of the bus.

He strode through the dark and empty road with nothing but the dim orange lighting that guided his way through his apartment. He passed by the nearby park which was once a colorful playground but had eventually become a hang-out place for addicts, the grass dumped with any number of used needles or shards of broken glass. His feet hurt as he walk through the rough, cobbled road with tall, gloomy buildings in tight clusters, looming over him. 

When he had reached his house, he shuffled through layers upon layers of fliers posted on his wall. He ripped of the fliers, knowing that half of it were probably scams and dumped it grumpily into a trashcan that was already  overflowing with garbage and perishables that stank from other units. As soon as he entered his cramped unit, his body instinctively told him to just lie down and finally succumb to a very much needed sleep. And that’s what he does, roughly pulling out his shoes without untying the lace before he let himself flop on top of the stiff bed that looked just about as worn out as he was.

His eyes almost immediately closed at the very little comfort his bed offered, not even bothering to change his clothes.  With his body sprawled into the sheets, Baekhyun sighed for what seems like the hundredth time this day and stared blankly at the ceiling. As his whole body ached, he had fallen once again into one of the moments where he endlessly questioned his decisions, looking back to his past which honestly isn't that much different than what his life had become now.

_... _

_ Baekhyun wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, sweat pooling at the roots of his hair as he carried a tray of drink. He placed the tray on the table, a nervous frown making its way to his features at the sight of the familiar woman who had ordered. _

_ “Hey.” the woman’s voice is low, a contrast to her rather angelic face. _

_ “Luna.” Baekhyun exhaled before he put down the glass with shaky hands. “W-we’re actually closing already.” _

_ “Dane wouldn’t mind, would he?“ she replied and crossed her legs as she propped her elbows on the table. She cupped her chin on her palm and her brightly manicured fingers glistened as the light hit it. Baekhyun could only look away, cheeks burning when he noticed how Luna’s skimpy dress had ridden up her thigh. _

_ “So, pretty boy when are you gonna pay me back?” Luna asked nonchalantly and Baekhyun’s mouth momentarily parted in realization before he quickly slotted his hand into his back pocket and pulled out a few bills, handing it to the other with two timid hands. “It’s all I have for now” _

_ Luna stared at him blandly for a few seconds before she moved her head to the side, motioning towards the table. Baekhyun quickly understood, putting the bills on the table and quickly pleated it flat as he moved back almost as quickly. Luna stared in amusement, her eyes carrying a mischievous glint. “Do you think you could pay me back the rest this week?”  _

_ Baekhyun slightly grimaced at the tone. He clasped his hands behind his back and racked the back of his brain for a decent reply and bit his lips at the process. “I—well...payday isn’t until the end of the month.” He looked down as if his shoes were the most interesting in the world at the moment as a futile attempt to shy away from the unwanted confrontation.. _

_ The blonde woman rolled her eyes, pulling out a mirror and a red lipstick from her seemingly expensive pouch. “You know, if you want to earn money, you can be more...proactive” _

_ Baekhyun knotted his forehead, confusion visible in his face “What do you mean?” _

_ “I mean, you’re pretty you know? Prism would take you in the moment they see you” _

_ “P-prism? Like Prism from red-light district?! T-that's ridiculous Luna.” Baekhyun’s eyes widened in horror as he stumbled a step backward and quickly grabbed onto a table from behind for support. _

_ “You’re in a tough spot and I don’t think you have the luxury to complain now, do you? I mean you’ll have to make use of your assets if you wanted to get by.” Luna stated nonchalantly while she pressed the tip of her lipstick on her lips, as she looked at the handheld mirror. _

_ “I am not spreading my legs for random people Luna!” Baekhyun hissed, frustration and shame bubbling at the pit of his stomach. Surely, Baekhyun had taken all sorts of job since he was twelve. He had done laundry, served food, ran random errands for people but whoring himself to people had already been crossed out the list before he could even consider it. _

_ “You’re young and pretty, no one would hesitate to pay a shit ton to bend you over, honey. It would be stupid of you to not take advantage of it.” Baekhyun is almost blinded by the rather sweet voice and the compliment but he quickly pushed it away, knowing those words held toxicity and danger.  _

_ “Thank you for offering but no.” Baekhyun gritted out through his clenched teeth, gripping tightly on the tray as if he could transfer all the frustration into it, all the more pissed at Luna who did not even seem the least bit bothered when she was practically telling him to sell his body. _

_ Luna smacked her lips with a loud pop before she stuffed the lipstick and mirror back to her pouch. Once more, she looked at Baekhyun, raising her eyebrows. _

_ “You do you but I need the money by this week”  _

...

His thoughts were cut off and his eyes were forced to open, his stomach rumbling once again, an uncomfortable ache settling in him. He briefly considered having at least an apple to compensate for the amount of energy he had used that day but even standing up was too tiresome for him so he closed his eyes again. His petite frame curled into a ball as some sort of protective mechanism before he finally let exhaustion take him to sleep.

//

To say Baekhyun was annoyed would be an understatement. He was totally infuriated and it took everything in him to not burst out of his desk and punch the fuck out of his classmate. Jongdae was truly, obnoxiously loud and God forbid Baekhyun if he ever gave in and grabbed his 0.2 mm pen to shove it down the older's throat. Don't get him wrong, he didn't particularly harbor any hate for Jongdae but he was tired and his patience could only stretch so far when he had little to no sleep last night. 

"Will you shut the fuck up?" Baekhyun bleated and he slouched back onto his desk, digging his head against his arms when Jongdae only made a face and repeated his words mockingly. 

"Why are you so grumpy everyday Baek? You always act like you get five minutes of sleep every night." Jongdae frowned as he sat on the desk he shared with Baekhyun, swinging his legs nonchalantly. The slightly older ignored him and let out a tiny mewl, too tired to form a coherent reply. Jongdae rolled his eyes and whipped his head towards the door before jumping off the desk and sat on his seat when the professor had entered. "Ya! Wake up. Mr. Yoon is here." Jongdae lightly shook Baekhyun who huffed in frustration and sat straight, rubbing his eyes.

A middle-aged professor with black hair stood by the door, looking ever so stressed. If it weren’t for the invincible smoke coming out of his nose, students would be laughing at his  fashion choices . 

" _Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are; For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense_ , Shakespeare once quoted." Mr. Yoon began as he paced towards the middle of the room and placed his stuff on the flat surface of the podium. "It meant a warning. A warning to the youth, accused of indulging in libertinism and sexual profligacy.”

“Do you know why I’m saying this?” He paused, looking over the students who seemed like they hadn’t been listening to a single word before he continued, “It has come to the school's attention that sexual activity within students has been increasing significantly. I'm sure some of you have watched news about students from another school being caught for engaging in sexual work." 

Baekhyun stared blankly at the professor, his droopy eyes void of any emotion as he listened intently. Mr. Yoon propped his hands onto the podium and tapped his fingers against the wood. "But the rights of sexual workers is truly a huge controversy. This school however, considers it unethical and certainly immoral to exploit the body for monetary gain so I would like to remind you students that you are studying here for a reason. You are studying for a better future where you will need not to offer your body to be able to survive. Your parents pay for your fees and raise you to not only be a good person but to be a good member of the society. I would like to warn you all that anyone caught engaging in these activities will be punished accordingly and may either be suspended or kicked out." 

_Parents_.  Baekhyun’s jaw clenched at the mention of the word. His gaze hardened and the grip on his pen couldn't possibly tighten more. It was annoying. He found it annoying when older people ran their mouths like they knew everything about how the world worked and at the same time, he found it ridiculous. He stopped himself from snorting at the foolish, ignorant teacher and scribbled on his notebook to calm himself down. 

"I hope you all understood me clearly. That will be all for today. I expect a five-hundred word reflection about this topic tomorrow. Class dismissed. Byun Baekhyun, follow me."

Unlike from when the students would usually become rowdy as soon as the class got dismissed, everyone in the room stayed silent. They watched Baekhyun stand up without a word and gather his stuff before walking towards the professor. His classmates stared at him curiously and as soon as he disappeared, the room erupted into a buzz of chatters and whispers.

Baekhyun tightened his hold onto the strap of his worn-out bag as he trailed behind Mr. Yoon. If he felt nervous at all then he hid it well with a calm and indifferent facade although heaven knows how badly he wanted to run away in fear of what he would be confronted about. And in fear that he may not be able to defend himself if this had anything to do with his  _ job _ at all. The teacher stopped in front of his office and opened the door, Baekhyun following suit. 

"Sit." He calmly ordered to which the black-haired male complied, sitting himself in one of the couches. Mr. Yoon followed shortly after, holding a piece of paper he had taken from his office desk. He sat across Baekhyun with a sigh and laid the paper flat on the table. "You're not going to the school trip?"

Baekhyun glanced at the familiar paper that he had signed, indicating his declination for the annual trip. With an unreadable expression and a monotonous voice, he replied, "Is there any problem with that, Sir?" 

"You think this is just about the trip? You have declined to all the the non-mandatory events for your entire stay here. It's your last year already and I don't see you hanging out much. Is there any problem?" The worry in the teacher's voice was unmasked. Baekhyun took a deep breath and looked back straight at Mr. Yoon's eyes. "No sir. I'm just busy reviewing for college entrance exams.” 

“Three days won’t hurt, Baekhyun-ah.” The teacher insisted and Baekhyun could only shake his head, gathering his hands on his lap to let them fiddle into a dance of anxiety. “I really can’t Mr. Yoon.”

“What’s happening to you dear? Stress might have been causing your grades to fall back and if it goes any lower from where it is, I’m afraid you might lose your scholarship. Tell me, is there anything going on at home?” Baekhyun’s fingers tensed and stoped moving. He gulped, afraid that his own voice might betray him so he stayed silent.

“I’m trying to help you. Don’t you want to be able to go out and play with kids your age? You should play soccer with your classmates and not bury yourself in textbooks. You need to have fun and relax if it's what helps you get back on track. It’s your senior year, Baekhyun”

“No, sir.”

“No what?”

“No, there’s nothing going on and no, I don’t like soccer. I’m sorry, I’ll do better in the coming exams.”

For a moment, Mr. Yoon looked hesitant but the two of them still had stuff to do so he let it go and smiled warmly at Baekhyun. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it. If anything happens, you can approach me. You may go.”

Baekhyun stood up and bowed. He was surprised his face had remained stoic for the entire exchange and he could only sigh in relief as he got out of the office, closing the door behind him carefully. 

There, he meets Jongdae who had been waiting outside, playing some sort of game on his phone. He noticed Baekhyun’s presence and quickly shut his phone down to look at the younger and waved enthusiastically. “Baek!”

Baekhyun grumbled and turned on his heel to walk the other way but not quite getting far when Jongdae swung his arms over the smaller’s narrow shoulders. “Hey? Where are you going? Let’s have lunch together!”

“I have to go to the library, Kim.” 

“Again! You always hang out there when it’s so boring and the librarian is always so pissy.” Jongdae rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation.

“It’s not boring.” Baekhyun snapped in defense, his brows furrowing and lips, involuntarily pulling into a pout that made Jongdae chuckle.

“I don’t care. You’re going with me to the cafeteria and that’s final.” were Jongdae’s words before Baekhyun felt himself get pulled into a noisy, jammed and surely dirty hall he had always avoided. 

_ Damn you, Kim Jongdae. _

//

“Plans for tonight?” Chanyeol poured the martini into the glass with ice, glancing over at his boyfriend who sat on the floor beside the sofa. Jongin’s fingers rapidly typed on the keyboard of his laptop as he hummed. “I have a report to write. I have a bottle of martini to get me drunk. I have a report to write while I’m shitfaced drunk. Think of how to stab my client. Yeah. I have many plans tonight.”

“And none of them involves me?” Chanyeol pouted and grabbed the glass, walking towards Jongin before he flopped his body on the couch. The elder reached out to run his fingers through the unkempt, dark brown hair of his lover who sighed in content, leaning against the couch. 

“You don’t have to take this case, you know?” Chanyeol whispered lowly and took a sip from his glass. Jongin exhaled, removing his glasses and folded them before putting it on the coffee table. He stood up and dropped his body right beside Chanyeol. 

“I guess. It’s stupid anyway. The client is clearly guilty.” Jongin snorted, snatching the glass from the taller’s hand and gulping down the rest of the alcohol. 

Chanyeol whined playfully, watching his boyfriend place the glass onto the table with a loud clink. “Hey that was mine.”

“Yeah but you love me” Jongin teased, throwing a mischievous grin and batted his lashes playfully. Chanyeol threw his head back with a chuckle at that. "That, I do Jongin." 

"I love you too." Jongin smiled and grabbed the remote from the table before he leaned back against Chanyeol’s chest and turned on the television. 

_ “ Chairperson of the Board of Audit and Inspection, Yoon Sangjun has reportedly attended a charity event. In partnership with Deputy Minister, Lee Jongseob, they have started a campaign to help out young women that are involved in human trafficking.” _

"How much would you bet it's all just a ploy to get the media to look at them with heart eyes?" Jongin whispered, turning the glass on his hand and watched the ice clink against the material. Chanyeol hummed, running his fingers through Jongin’s hair. “I’d bet my whole fortune.” 

“Right. People are stupid. They see a man donate and they all think he’s a saint.” Jongin sighed, placing the glass on the coffee table and leaned back at Chanyeol. “You know what? Fuck this report. My plans for tonight will now specifically involve you.” 

“That’s more like it babe.” The taller grinned like a fox. He slowly leaned forward and briefly planted his warm lips against the younger’s. They pulled apart and took shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to contain himself anymore, Jongin held Chanyeol's head in his hands and pulled him once again into a fiery and passionate kiss. His hands worked their way around the older’s body, feeling each crevasse, each line along his perfect physique. 

Unlike the usual kisses they had that were brief and perfunctory, a duty done, a ritual performed, this one was intense, raw with emotion and in the darkness as they closed their eyes, light seemed to explode. It could be the stress, the alcohol, the pent up frustration of not being able to properly have sex with each other or perhaps all of them but the kiss was rushed, pure lust and desire swirling thickly into the atmosphere. 

Their tongues fought against each other, curling strategically to get the other to submit as the taste of alcohol was shared between them. The fight for dominance was fairly fought and did not quite seem like it was going to end. Jongin straddled Chanyeol, his hands automatically going through the older’s hair to grip them tightly. Along with the hazy kiss, Chanyeol did not fail to notice this and he lifted his own hands, prying Jongin’s from his hair and gripped them tightly. “Goddamn, when will you ever let me fuck you?” Chanyeol hastily whispered against Jongin’s soft, plump limps. 

“When you let me fuck you first.” The younger answered and Chanyeol could feel Jongin’s lips curl into a smirk against his. The older angled his head mockingly with a grin before he replied, “Sounds like never.”

“We’ll see about that.” Jongin lilted, hands travelling down the taller’s torso. His rough hands met with Chanyeol’s hard abdomen, stroking it slowly in sync with his hips rolling against the other. Chanyeol couldn’t just watch and he too, started moving to meet the younger’s movements with his own that were fairly just as aggressive.

Jongin bit his boyfriend’s lower lip so hard it might have started to bleed a little. With ferocity, Chanyeol responded to that with a harsh tug on Jongin’s crotch.

“Yeol, no that’s not—that’s not fair.” 

“Shhh.” Chanyeol brought up his finger to Jongin’s lips and kissed him again. It’s a slow process as his lips traveled down from Jongin’s lips to his jawline, neck, and collarbone. Kissing every inch, he could feel the younger’s struggle to keep his hands down.

“Fuck, babe.” Jongin whispered into Chanyeol’s ear and bit his earlobe. His hands instantly clasped around the older’s arm violently. Jongin buried his head into Chanyeol’s neck, hands roving all over the bigger body. Their breathing then becomes rough and fast. Desperate and short. Raspy and shallow.

"This isn't working babe." Chanyeol silently muttered, halting the younger's movements. Jongin's eyes scanned his lover's face before he sighs, leaning his forehead against the other's.

"I'm sorry, I just don't think I could—" Chanyeol immediately hushes him with a tender kiss on his cheek. "It's okay babe. Let's just sleep it off okay? It's probably just the stress"

"Yeah, I guess so. I love you."

"I love you too."

//

Among many other things, Jongin absolute hated waking up to find the space next to him empty. And that he does the next morning. 

The room is entirely too bright and he could only groan, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the brightness before he stood up and headed towards the bathroom.

If anyone knew anything about Jongin at all, they would know that he was not a morning person. And Chanyeol has had his fair share of difficult mornings trying to wake the younger up and ushering him to prepare for work. Jongin was stubborn and hard-headed.

Chanyeol loved that about him anyway.

As the warm water hit his muscular body, he parted his lips and heaved a deep breath. He was annoyed. Frustrated. Tired. Stressed. And he could only mentally express his gratitude to the temporary calm as he showered. He took all the time he needed in the warm sanctuary of their home, clearing random and recurring thoughts from his head.

After the much needed bath, he changed into his work clothes and grumpily trudged towards the door, grabbing his stuff.

Staring at the huge, empty space of the penthouse, Jongin could not help but feel lonely. So he looked away and closed the door behind him wiith a heavy heart. The place was undeniably large and spacious for two people and with the amount of money that the two of them made, it wouldn’t be impossible for them to not afford the place. 

Chanyeol, a young, well-known bachelor from a conglomerate family. Leading the empire that his family has established for years, he has only brought wealth and fortune so far. Truly a successful businessman who made a name for himself by his own hard work albeit the golden spoon offered to him. 

Then there was Jongin. A renowned defense attorney. He had won countless of trials and has a huge lot of clients flocking at his office. He had spent most of his life cooped up in his room to study and work his way to being a lawyer but apparently, being the boyfriend of the nation's proclaimed hottest bachelor, spotlight was bound to be shone onto him.

He didn't like it but he didn't particularly hate it either. He loved Chanyeol and it wasn't their fault that the media indulged in the tea about their relationship. Because as the articles read,  _Bachelor Park Chanyeol and Defense Attorney Kim Jongin are the perfect couple. Young. Hot. Rich. Successful._

He and Chanyeol would read the newspapers together, snickering to themselves as they went through the ridiculous rumors. It was funny. But not when the public talked about their sexual life, deciding who had the upper hand in bed. It was not funny because the couple knew just how much the power dynamics had been such a struggle in their relationship for so long. But they loved each other so much that they didn't even think of breaking up despite their sex life being dysfunctional.

And Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin's paralegal, is already tired of the older's whines, he decided as he watched the said man enter his office grumpily.

"Would you look at that? Mr. I-hate-mornings has finally come to work." Sehun beamed sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Jongin who flopped his body on his swivel chair. 

"Shut up hun. What do I have for today?"

"I finished drafting the document for the assault case so you might want to go through them." Sehun replied, placing a pile of papers on the marble desk. 

_ And another.  _

"Background review"

_ And another. _

"Statements."

_ And another. _

"Police reports."

"That's a shit ton. Anything else?"

"Ah, right. Lunch with Deputy Minister, Lee Jongseob."

"I thought we agreed on ignoring his calls?" 

"Well—he's pretty insistent."

"I don't see a reasonable purpose for us to meet, unless of course someone filed a lawsuit against him."

"Could be a date?" Sehun whispered cautiously but immediately winced when Jongin's face comically morphed into hat of anger.

"You dumb ass, I have a boyfriend!"

"One who won't let you fuck him."

"First of all, I don't appreciate you talking about my boyfriend like that. Second, do you seriously think I'm going to fuck that creepy man?" 

"Well a sexually frustrated man could resort to anything for relea—"

"Sehun, are we seriously talking about this?"

"Okay fine, I'll cancel it! Don't come crawling and whining to me when your balls turn blue."

Jongin seethed, grabbing onto the first thing his hands could touch, aiming it at his naughty assistant.

The younger cowered in fear but laughed anyway. "Jeez, you're such a grumpy, man. Alright, I'm all ears. Spill the tea."

The corner of Jongin's mouth twitched in annoyance, swinging back once more to threaten the younger before he sighed in defeat, throwing the folder back onto the desk.

"We didn't get to continue it last night. As usual, it always ends up with the two of us sleeping."

"Do you want to hear my opinion honestly?"

"Anything that comes out your mouth is ridiculous." Jongin groused, leaning back onto his chair. He tipped his head back and loosened the tie around his neck.

"Well I know a really good place somewhere in red-light district—"

"I knew it."

"Hey, at least consider it you know? I mean you’re both stressed and—"

"Absolutely not. I’m not gonna cheat on Chanyeol."

"A third party then?"

"Out." Jongin vehemently disagreed.

"Okay, I'm sorry! I just wanted to help." Sehun snickered at Jongin’s reddened face.

“Out, Oh Sehun before I cut off your own arm and beat you with it.” 

Jongin sighed in exasperation when the paralegal had already exited the room. The boy closed the door shut behind him, leaving Jongin to stare at his office. 

Floor to ceiling windows, marble desk, a sofa, a tea table placed in front of him and a small potted plant by the door.

_ Jongin decided he hated spacious places when it was empty and lifeless.  _

//

_ Transcript of Kim Jongdae's Statement. Part I. _

_ Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 28, 2021. _

_ Det. Ahn: Hey, you alright bud? _

_ Jongdae: Yea, I guess. Nervous, maybe. It's my first time here. _

_Det. Ahn: You don't have to worry at all. You just have to answer the questions as truthfully as possible._

_ Jongdae: [Exhales] Okay. _

_ Det. Ahn: Do you want some tea to calm down your nerves? _

_ Jongdae: No. No, thank you. I'm good. _

_ Det. Ahn: Alright, can we start now? _

_ Jongdae: Yes. _

_ Det. Ahn: Okay. This is Detective Ahn Jooyoung of Seoul Central District Police Department to facilitate Mr. Kim Jongdae's interrogation for Case 120804. Today is October 28, 2021 and the time is currently 7:10 PM. Mr. Kim, please state your full name. _

_ Jongdae: Kim Jongdae. _

_ Det. Ahn: Your age and date of birth please. _

_ Jongdae: September 21, 2003. I'm 18 years old. _

_ Det. Ahn: Where do you study? _

_ Jongdae: Seoul Central Highschool. _

_ Det. Ahn: Do you know who Byun Baekhyun is? _

_ Jongdae: Yes... _

_ Det. Ahn: How are you affiliated with him? _

_ Jongdae: We're classmates and...and friends, I guess. _

_ Det Ahn: What's with the hesitation? _

_ Jongdae: Oh uhh, well I've always tried to be friends with him. _

_ Det. Ahn: But? _

_ Jongdae: Baekhyun doesn't do friendships so I guess I'll take that back. [Chuckles] _

_ Det. Ahn: I see. So what kind of person is Byun Baekhyun to you. _

_ Jongdae: Well he’s...quiet and shy but he is a nice person. He just doesn’t like showing it but he is. _

_ Det. Ahn: Have you noticed anything unusual before the incident?  _

_ Jongdae: He’s been jumpy and anxious. I’ve always tried to ask him what’s wrong but he always shrugs me off. _

_ Det. Ahn: Has he ever fought with anyone at school? _

_ Jongdae: None that I know of. _

_ Det. Ahn: Could you explain in detail what happened that night you found him? _

_ Jongdae: It was around 2 am.  _

_ to be continued _

_//_


	2. survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun was programmed to believe that he had to do everything to survive.
> 
> Chanyeol is a control freak.
> 
> And Jongdae really needs to watch his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy reading ♡

//

Everything revolved around money. 

Baekhyun learned that in not just one but many different hard ways. 

Born into a family that was dysfunctional and had two parental figures who didn’t have a decent job, Baekhyun lived his childhood in extreme poverty.

Baekhyun was eight when he started running random errands for elders in their village. He would receive coins after fetching a thing or two for them. If he was lucky, he would earn a couple bills for harder errands. 

Baekhyun was nine when his parents decided he should start earning more or he would have to drop out of school. So he did double. Doing laundry for the elder people, sorting their trash and even cleaning their yard.

Baekhyun’s parents had a job. He wasn’t sure what it was but he supposed it was not as decent. He had seen shady men enter their apartment and exchange money for something he had no idea about. He would lock himself in his room in fear or he would simply go outside to work but he would always come back to a mess. Empty bottles and burnt out cigarettes would litter their living room. Used needles scattered on the floor and an awful stench lingering in the air. 

He would always clean it with no suspicion. He had been told so.

Being an errand boy was simple but it somehow helped. Until it didn’t.

Baekhyun was thirteen when he found his parents unconscious in their living room for a totally different reason. He had tried to shake them awake but to no avail, the pair had not even moved an inch. When he realized they weren’t breathing, he broke into loud wails, panic eating at his insides.

The mere child was scared and he didn’t know what to do. But there was a letter. A letter that told him he should run away. Run and never look back if he wanted to protect himself. Run to somewhere far away and do everything,

_Do everything to survive._

And he did. Baekhyun, a little boy, ended up in a neighborhood that was even more shabby than before but he figured no one here would recognize him. For the most part, he had slept in tunnels and abandoned parks. 

It was when Baekhyun had learned how to steal and pickpockets. He would go around and sneak behind people to grab any valuables he could find in their pockets.

Baekhyun figured out many tricks. He learned how to survive in the streets. He was sure his pickpocketing skills were exceptional.

Until he met a man named Yixing. He had tried to steal the wallet that hung loosely on the older’s cardigan but to no avail, the man had caught him. The man looked down on him and scolded him. Yixing told him it wasn’t right to steal from people. He had asked if Baekhyun had anywhere to go, to which the younger said no, shaking his head as he looked down.

The man was kind enough to take him in and let him work in his pub. Yixing gave him shelter until he made enough to get himself a cheap unit in a run-down apartment. Baekhyun had been reluctant at first but Yixing never questioned anything about his life so he eventually started to trust the elder.

  
  


Baekhyun was sixteen when it all began.

It was a Monday night and as he wiped the sweat that threatened to fall from his forehead, he could immediately feel the fatigue creeping up to his system.

He had gone straight to Retro after school and he was still working his part-time shift at the pub. Monday nights at the pub weren’t as hectic as they were during weekends but it was still tiring and Luna’s proposition to him did not make Baekhyun feel any better. 

“Hey, what’s with the long face?” Yixing, the pub’s owner asked as Baekhyun walked to the counter.

“Just tired, Xing. It’s a tough day.” Baekhyun answered dismissively, going behind the counter to help the older with wiping the washed utensils.

“I told you to at least take a break one of these days.” Yixing sighed, hands roughly scrubbing the spoons with the clean towel.

“You know I can’t afford to take a break, Xing. I have bills to pay.” 

A moment of silence passed by and Baekhyun curiously looked up at Yixing who was now sporting a dimpled smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Retro doesn’t pay much but thank you for sticking Baek. It really means a lot. This pub was my husband’s dream and I can’t let it die just because he’s...” Yixing wasn’t able to finish but Baekhyun knew exactly what he meant and he nodded understandingly, a soft smile on his face.

“I’m only here for the free drinks!” Baekhyun joked and the pair erupted into laughter, sharing more stories as they went deeper into the night, cleaning up until it was time to close. 

As Baekhyun finally bid goodbye to Yixing, walking his way towards the bus stop, his heart started filling with dread. 

_“I don’t think you have the luxury to complain.”_

Luna's words echoed in his mind. And it hit Baekhyun hard. He did not want to judge Luna for the job she had because clearly she wasn’t happy with it but the pay was probably more than enough to make her stay. Baekhyun was sure Luna was not on minimum and briefly, he considered the proposition. 

It did make sense that Baekhyun wasn’t in the position to be choosy about his job when he certainly needed the money to not only pay Luna back but to survive. Retro isn’t exactly doing well these days and he doesn’t have the heart to quit, feeling like he hadn’t worked enough to pay Yixing for helping him get by and giving him a job that helped him put a roof above his head.

And now he was tempted. Maybe when the bus arrived he could take a different route. He should not go home. Maybe he really should check the place out.

But a part of him was still scared. He was still young after all. He was only 16 and he had not a single clue about how these things worked. Maybe he should go home instead. Maybe he should just find another part-time job. It was a school night after all and he couldn't afford to skip classes.

Clearly, he fails at these when he finds himself standing in front of a shady building. Sleek and expensive-looking cars surrounding the vicinity. It would not be hard to guess that most of the people who came here were rich and influential people.

That thought scared the hell out of Baekhyun and once again, he considered chickening out but the red neon lighting blared like a warning to him, reminding him of the debt he had to pay off and so he entered.

_Do everything to survive._

The whorehouse’s lobby is classy in the most unclassy way possible. It has all the corporate taste for opulent items without the slightest touch of personality.

The floor was tiled in fine marble, which made every step echo. A chandelier made rainbow colors dance across the luxurious lobby, standing up for the building’s name, Prism.

A woman in a skimpy outfit stood by the counter, giving him a wide smile and warmly greeted. “Young mister! Here for the auction?” 

“I'm...I'm looking for work.” Baekhyun shook his head and the smile on the woman’s face grew wider.

“Oh such a beautiful young boy! We’d make lots if you worked for us!” She cheered in a high-pitched voice that made Baekhyun uncomfortable.

“N-no! I...i’m just here for one night.” The woman visibly frowned at this, tilting her head curiously. “One night?! Oh pretty you’d make a fortune if you worked here regularly.”

“i just—i just need the money by this week.” 

“What a waste.” The woman sighed and clicked her tongue “You’re lucky today’s the auction. follow me.”

“Don’t worry. They’re just a bunch of old men but if you prove to be even luckier, your bidder might be less—for the lack of better term—repulsive” She snickered, her heels clanking against the marble tiles as she led Baekhyun to a huge door.

“No going back sweetie.” She said one last time before she opened the door and pushed him inside. 

Baekhyun is greeted by a man who seemed young, sporting a well-groomed stubble and a fancy suit. 

“Who do we have here?”

“Just some pretty little thing desperate for money. Put him on the auction list for tonight.”

“I’m sure he’ll satisfy the customers well!” The woman giggled obnoxiously, turning on her heel as her hair tied up in a ponytail swayed at the motion. “Best of luck, pretty!” 

Baekhyun is left alone in the room with the other man who came up to him, scanning his whole body. “Guess we’ll have to spare the introductions. Doesn’t seem like you need much of a makeover though” 

Baekhyun’s cheeks heated up as he swallowed the lump in his throat making the other chuckle. “Such a cutie. Bet you’d make more than just 5 grand tonight”

“Five?!” Baekhyun exclaimed, mouth wide open in shock. Five grand was more than what he needed. It could probably even last him months and the thought alone made his mind hazy. “They would pay that much for one night?”

“Well they’re...rich...old...and in need of some company. Don’t worry though honey, all you have to do is moan. Make it seem like you enjoy it and maybe you will!”

Baekhyun felt bile rise up to his throat. He thought he had prepared himself enough for this but it did not seem like his mindset is anywhere near prepared and it probably never will be.

What felt like hours of waiting had finally ended. The man called his name and pulled Baekhyun to a pathway. “No backing down when you enter those doors. You’re up next.” He moved the curtains before pushing the smaller into the huge stage.

Baekhyun’s breath hitched and the bright light blinded him for a moment, raising up an arm to cover his eyes until he got used to it. His eyes quickly skimmed through the room, the hall full of men clad in fancy suits. The stage stood high, plenty of ascending rows with leather seats lined in front of it. 

He heard whistles and cheers until it all mixed, voices swimming in his head, ears ringing sharply at the chaos before him. He vaguely registered the bids and his insides already feel like they’re twisting, wrenching up bile to his throat.

_“Ten grand, sold to number 83.”_

The words rung in his ear. He stays rooted to the ground, unable to move until he gets pulled out of the stage. His mind was hazy and he had no idea about what was going on but he soon found himself brought into a dimly lit room. His body pushed back onto the bed as the staff stripped him bare before they left. 

Seconds and minutes passed, the door to the room creaking open. 

And then he felt it.

A dull ache in his jaw as a hand roughly turned his face, eliciting a pained whimper from him.

Bundles of nerve endings on his thigh indicated a hand prodding against it, roughly spreading them apart and it didn't take long before he felt something intruding at his most intimate part, tears finally falling out of his eyes like a waterfall.

As he got pummeled into the bed, his sanity left with his dignity. He felt like passing out, the second and the following violations on his body felt just as painful as the first. 

And as the man finished with a grunt after what felt like several rounds, Baekhyun fell unconscious. 

The next morning he woke up alone in the bed. Bare naked and feeling dirty like he never had. The envelope on the nightstand beside the bed was the indication of last night’s events. 

_Do everything to survive._

The same words rang at the back of his mind. 

He found himself returning the next day, promising himself that it would be the last time. He broke his own promise as he returned again and again. Night after night he got used to it. Night after night he would earn money this way. He did it again and again until it became a routine. 

_He was sixteen on that day and he had lost himself then._

  
  


//

  
  


Park Chanyeol had always been an unruly kid. He was aware of it. He was never one to follow the rules so easily. 

Born with a golden spoon offered to his mouth, really, it was quite hard not to grow differently. He always wore fine clothes, he had limited edition toys and he ate the finest of food. 

He was a bratty, stubborn and annoying child.

He was in highschool when he realized he didn’t like such a high pedestal they have put him into just because his parents were rich. So he started rebelling.

Cutting ties with the pampered and prim friends he used to have, he started involving himself with the kids that had bad reputation at school. He would join them as they went around, vandalizing properties and smoking at some abandoned building they have decided to infest with worn out couches and moldy mattresses.

He got his first tattoo with much delight as he watched the horrified faces of the house maids and his mother who hollered and asked him what the hell he had done to his skin before immediately calling a dermatologist to know if it was possible to have it removed.

Chanyeol found it funny. 

He had joined his first drag race with the new car his parents had bought him at the age of 18. A shiny, electric blue sports car that he was sure cost a shit ton of fortune. The smile on his face that night was not in pride of the car but in pride of his victory. Cheers erupted as he crossed the finish line with the car battered in long and deep dents. 

He had won his first race and the screams of his mother when he had driven back home did nothing to wipe the adrenaline rushing in his system. Though, he found it truly annoying that his parents had been more worried about Chanyeol tarnishing their reputation when he might have actually died. Chanyeol thought they could have at least worried about the bloody car if not him.

Despite all these, Chanyeol had managed to do well in school. Not outstanding but decent enough to get him to a decent college. He was intelligent alright but he saw no importance in studying when he had found a truly different passion. Music. 

His parents had greatly disapproved of it and called him useless. They threatened to pass on the company to his cousin who was an obnoxious brute. 

Chanyeol hated that. It could be his pride, his ego or he simply hated his cousin’s guts. Nevertheless, he proved to his parents that he could do both music and college. 

And he did exactly so, graduating college with flying colors and satisfied with how much deeper he has grown into his little passion. 

As soon as his father stepped down, Chanyeol got to lead the company. With intelligence and rigor, he led the company to nothing but flourishment. And while the success he has achieved was indeed admirable, the youthful fire in him hadn’t quite been extinguished. 

He would indulge himself with a bunch of one-night stands and a bit too much of alcohol for his mother’s liking. The old woman never stopped being such a worry-wart after all.

Chanyeol loved having things go around his way. He loved having things go according to his plans and his wishes. He was used to always having people at his beck and call. 

Simply put, Chanyeol was a control freak.

He met his lover at a nightclub. The younger who revealed his name to be Jongin looked like he was carved by the supreme being himself. Ethereal, that he was. And Chanyeol had approached him with one thought in mind. He needed to have Jongin in his bed. How could he not when the younger looked so charming and exquisite?

Jongin then told him that it was his first time in such a place, saying that he had just finished law school. Surprisingly, Chanyeol found himself interested in what the younger man did. Jongin had a calm exterior that exuded confidence and a hidden fire. And as they talked, Chanyeol felt himself getting pulled deeper than anyone had ever done. With the young man’s carefree attitude and his witty remarks, Chanyeol was a lost cause.

Chanyeol ended up taking Jongin to his penthouse on that night. But his surprise couldn’t quite be contained as Jongin started taking the lead. It was too quick, too hot, too sensual but Chanyeol’s system was screaming at him to take over. To keep the upper hand. To control the situation and to dominate. Only, Jongin wasn’t quite ready to let him do that so easily. 

The night ended with messy and overwhelming handjobs.

Chanyeol thought it was the most horrible night of his life. He wished he hadn’t put himself in such an embarrassment but as the days passed by, he couldn’t get Jongin out of his mind. With a resolve to finally put out the burning curiosity, he tried to find Jongin and see what exactly was bothering him.

And when he did, one meeting turned into another that Chanyeol had forced to seem like a coincidence. And another that he shamelessly made an excuse for. Those meetings had turned into one date and that one date turned into so many more.

Chanyeol thought by then that Jongin was truly the one for him. He figured he liked Jongin because of who he was. Spare the sexual interaction, he loved everything Jongin did and everything that he was.

So here they are now. Both accomplished in life and still so in love with each other even after two years. 

Jongin made Chanyeol believe that he did not need anything else to excite him and make him happy. He did not need parties. He did not need alcohol. He did not need sex. 

He only needed Jongin.

//

  
  


It was true when Baekhyun thought he didn’t actually harbor any kind of particular hate towards Jongdae but now, he doesn’t think the same way. 

Baekhyun just wanted to stay at the library and catch up with some readings that he failed to finish because of his jobs. Baekhyun liked to believe he only needed one straight path towards his goal. And that goal was to earn money, pay his bills and die when he finally got too old to function.

He wasn’t sure what the purpose of that was but it is what he believed his parents wanted him to do. Like he had been a robot programmed, it was buried deep into his mind that everything he did was to survive. To continue breathing. To not disappear from existence. 

And friendships would be a distraction. Jongdae was a distraction. 

This was what Baekhyun thought was normal. This was how things were supposed to go. Jongdae was the epitome of trouble and he had to stay away from him.

Baekhyun was willing to bet all the luck in his life if that meant he wouldn't have to be involved with the devil again and he realized his luck wasn’t enough when he had been paired with Jongdae for a school project.

Baekhyun didn’t know if Jongdae took his studies seriously. And as he thought more about it, Jongdae had always been around him but Baekhyun didn’t know a thing or two about him. He quickly shrugged off the thought. It was ridiculous. He did not need to know anything about Jongdae. Jongdae was a temporary figure in his life that he wouldn’t have to deal with after he graduates high school.

Baekhyun believed he was a determined person. He had a resolve that wasn’t quite easily put out. 

But as he sat on the chair in Jongdae’s room, researching on what they were supposed to write about, he could not help but feel his will to live dispel. Jongdae whined endlessly as he laid on his bed. Baekhyun eyed it once and briefly wondered how it felt like to lie on a soft one. 

“Come on Baek! It would just be for a while! I know a really good place that sells spicy chicken feet!” Jongdae flailed around Baekhyun, whining with his signature voice that the younger male found obnoxious though he had already gotten used to it.

“I came here to finish the project, Kim.” Baekhyun muttered dismissively, typing rapidly on Jongdae’s computer. 

“Oh there you go again! It’ll be just for a while! We can eat and then go back here immediately!”

For a moment, Baekhyun could feel his guard lower. He had thought that he actually really hadn't tried going out for fun. He had never tried to eat out with friends. He didn’t know what good places were there in their area. He hadn’t tried going to an amusement park or the mall, or the arcade.

Baekhyun had been missing out on the good things life has to offer but he was alive, wasn’t he? He didn’t think he should complain.

“D-do they serve anything else?” Baekhyun had reluctantly questioned, immediately regretting it when the grin on Jongdae’s face had grown wider.

“Why? You don’t like spicy chicken feet?!” Jongdae asked.

“I can’t...I can’t eat spicy food.” Baekhyun shamefully admitted, lowering his face. He was embarrassed. He had never shared details about him to anyone before and the cheeky smile on Jongdae’s face did not help at all.

“Oh you poor thing! That’s okay! We can order something else for you!”

And just like that, Jongdae had managed to persuade Baekhyun. The pair quickly cleaned up their stuff before Jongdae pulled Baekhyun with him to the restaurant he had so confidently bragged about.

The place was cozy, Baekhyun would give them that. It’s interior looked so homey and the smell that lingered in the air was enticing. Baekhyun was looking forward to it.

Sitting on an isolated table at the far corner, Baekhyun felt comfortable. He had no idea what to order so he ultimately let Jongdae do the job for the two of them. 

He squirmed in his seat when the waitress had come to take their order, looking down to avoid the gaze of the seemingly sassy woman.

“So...tell me about you!” Jongdae exclaimed when the waitress had walked away.

“A-about me?” 

“Yes, of course! About you!” 

“I uhm...I’m eighteen…?” Baekhyun trailed questioningly. He wasn’t sure if he had answered it the right way but he had never really been asked about himself before.

Jongdae chuckled in amusement. 

“Silly, I mean like tell me about yourself. Your hobbies, things you dislike and such!” 

“I don’t...I don’t know?”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’ve got to have something you enjoy doing!”

“Laundry…?” 

Jongdae erupted into a high-pitched laugh. 

“You’re really interesting, Baek! Really? Laundry?” 

“And flowers! I like growing flowers!” Baekhyun had muttered way too loud for his liking, his body mysteriously jolting up in an unexplainable excitement.

“Now that sounds like a real hobby!”

Soon enough, plates after plates are placed on the table. His head would turn, eyes following the dishes as the waitress placed them one by one on the table.

He could feel himself salivate at the sight of the food. Embarrassingly, so.

“I ordered chicken wings, burger and a strawberry milkshake for you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes twinkled in delight, a small smile slowly making its way to his face and Jongdae found it adorable how the younger had tried so hard to keep it but failed anyway. 

Baekhyun waited for Jongdae to start eating before he finally dug into his own food, his fingers clasping onto the chicken wings as he started to bite at it with much difficulty. Jongdae sighed. 

“I’ll teach you the proper way to eat it.” Jongdae offered, grabbing a piece of chicken wing and pinching one end of it, twisting the bone to loosen it off the meat before pulling it out. 

Baekhyun gasped in awe. He had never seen anyone do it like that!

“Wow…”

Jongdae chuckled for what seems to be the hundredth time, shoving the chicken meat onto Baekhyun’s agape mouth.

Baekhyun dumbly chewed onto the food and continued eating.

“So, what do your parents do?”

Baekhyun halted his movements, staring back at Jongdae. He stayed silent. Unable to form a decent reply.

Jongdae noticed the hesitation. “Well if you want me to do it first then my mom works as a nurse and my dad is a manager of a cafe! How about yours?”

“I—“ Baekhyun’s voice betrayed him as it broke. A lump formed at the back of his throat. 

He might be adamant on ridding himself of Jongdae’s presence but the actual thought of the guy leaving him once he found out about Baekhyun’s past was so terrifying. Baekyun would admit that he actually appreciated Jongdae but he was not prepared for this confrontation.

“Come on, don’t be shy! I bet your parents are kind and amazing, seeing as to how they’ve raised you to become such a lovely boy!”

That angered Baekhyun. He gritted his teeth. No one had raised him but himself. His parents were cowardly pieces of shit who had decided to take their own lives when things got rough. They were selfish people who had abandoned a mere child and left him to fend for himself. His parents were horrible and undeserving.

His parents weren’t kind and amazing. And he certainly wasn’t lovely.

“You know nothing!” Baekhyun seethed. Tears welled up at the corner of his eyes as he fished his pocket for some bills, angrily slamming it on the table.

Jongdae gasped in shock, eyes widening at the sudden outburst of the younger boy before him.

Baekhyun shook with overwhelming emotions as he stormed out of the diner. He rubbed the tears pouring out of his eyes in frustration as he took his quivering lower lip between his teeth to bite back a sob.

Baekhyun never should have gone. He never should have lowered his guard. He never should have let Jongdae in. Friendships weren’t for him. Fun wasn’t something he was allowed to have. 

Baekhyun was a lost cause. Nothing else was left for him. No one would ever appreciate him for who he was if they found out about him. Not Jongdae and not even Yixing. 

It was then when Baekhyun learned that friendships were useless.

Baekhyun was meant to be alone.

//

  
  


Baekhyun was an impulsive person, especially when it came to self-destruction.

A few days have passed since their fight but Baekhyun still felt empty. He had cooped up in his place, regretting the things he had done and said on that day. 

His thoughts spiraling into thoughts that led him into self-deprecation. Baekhyun questioned the purpose of his life. Was he really supposed to continue living? Was there anything for him when he had finally grown old? Was happiness really possible?

Baekhyun thought the answers to those questions were negative. 

And as he stayed in his room, his will for survival dissipated bit by bit. In a dull sweatshirt and baggy pants, Baekhyun walked out of his apartment on impulse. Wordlessly, he headed straight towards the nearest convenience store. 

He did not hesitate to buy a few random pills, a bottle of soju he had managed to sneak, and some charcoal briquettes. His heart loudly thumped in the quiet of the night as he walked out of the convenience store, carrying the black plastic bag carefully.

He felt hurried and anxious as he tried to walk faster until he ran into a man, the contents of his bag spilling onto the floor.

The man picked up the bag of charcoal before looking at Baekhyun who had become speechless. 

The man was absolutely beautiful. Tall nose and a dashing jawline, certainly making his side profile extremely attractive. Perfectly shaped and plump, petal-colored, enticing lips. The streaks of moonlight was more than enough to show Baekhyun how the man’s skin was incredibly flawless, pale and smooth-looking as it practically glistened at the light. Thick lashes framed his huge, round, obsidian eyes and his hair was just as dark as his orbs, haphazardly pushed back and unkempt. 

“Carbon monoxide poisoning.” The mysterious man in a black denim jacket said, voice coming as deep as his stare did. 

Baekhyun took a sharp breath and quickly gathered the things he bought, stuffing it frenziedly into the bag, snatching the pack of briquettes from the man. 

“That’s quite the way to die.” 

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Baekhyun stammered, turning on his heel to escape from the confrontation of the stranger but he felt a hand latch onto his thin wrists, stopping him from walking any further.

“I don’t think it’s polite to grab strangers like that.”

“Then I guess we shouldn’t be strangers anymore? I’m Chanyeol.” The man said with a playful grin, revealing a perfect set of white teeth.

_Could this man be any more perfect?_

“I don't see the need for introductions now if you could please let go—“ Baekhyun’s words are cut off but thankfully for him Chanyeol let go of his wrist, pulling out a wallet from his back pocket.

He took a couple of bills and slotted it in Baekhyun's hands. “What are you—“

“Buying it from you.” Chanyeol simply answered, taking the bag from the smaller, lifting it up mockingly with his index finger and shook it.

“Go home safely, pretty boy.” He uttered, leaning down to meet Baekhyun eye to eye before patting the younger’s head with a small smile. 

Chanyeol passed by him, leaving Baekhyun who stood dumbfoundedly. Not long after, Baekhyun heard the faint sound of plastic rustling and glass clanging in the distance.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure why but he just knew Chanyeol had thrown the bag into a bin.

It might have come off as rather rude but Baekhyun was thankful Chanyeol saved him from himself that night and made him feel emotions he’d never really been familiar with.

Baekhyun hated it when he acted on impulse.

_Baekhyun had to live and survive. He had to do everything to survive._

  
  


_//_

  
  
  


_Transcript of Park Chanyeol’s statement. Part I._

_Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 29, 2021._

_Det. Ahn: Mr. Park._

_Chanyeol: Detective._

_Det. Ahn: So we meet again. The last time we met you were quite the delinquent._

_Chanyeol: I don’t believe that has any relevance to the case._

_Det. Ahn: Ah, still the ever so grumpy teenager. [Chuckles]_

_Chanyeol: Get on with it, Ahn._

_Det. Ahn: Alright. This is Detective Ahn Jooyoung of Seoul Central District Police Department to facilitate Mr. Park Chanyeol’s interrogation for Case 120804. Today is October 29, 2020 and the time is currently 10:19 AM. Mr. Park, please state your full name._

_Chanyeol: Park Chanyeol._

_Det. Ahn: Date of birth and age._

_Chanyeol: November 27, 1992. 29 years old._

_Det. Ahn: Right, and you work as the head of Park Corp.?_

_Chanyeol: Yes._

_Det. Ahn: Do you personally know Byun Baekhyun?_

_Chanyeol: Yes._

_Det. Ahn: How are you affiliated with him?_

_Chanyeol: He’s…a friend._

_Det. Ahn: And how did a highschool student possibly get acquainted with such a person like you?_

_Chanyeol: We met near a convenience store._

_Det. Ahn: I suppose that meeting was quite remarkable seeing how you’ve established such a close relationship with him._

_Chanyeol: We have many similarities._

_Det. Ahn: You sure there wasn’t anything else?_

_Chanyeol: Like what exactly?_

_Det. Ahn: Mr. Park, I hope you are aware that many students are engaging in paid sexual activities._

_Chanyeol: Baekhyun is past the age of consent and I certainly know he doesn’t engage in such._

_Det. Ahn: What makes you so sure that Mr. Byun is not involved in prostitution? There is no other explanation as to why he was there on that night._

_Chanyeol: Bullshit. Lee Jongseob is the creepy fucker here. Baekhyun is innocent._

_Det. Ahn: Please expand more about Mr. Lee._

_to be continued_

_//_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts??? 
> 
> i hope y’all enjoyed it! ♡
> 
> stay safe and healthy folks ♡


	3. temptations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is resilient.
> 
> Jongin is weak to temptations.
> 
> And Chanyeol really needs to deal with his fucking curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy reading!♡

//

Just like Chanyeol, Jongin wasn’t any less of a control freak. He grew up with parents who had ingrained into his mind that graduating with the highest of grades and the best of reputation was the key to the best life.

Young, sixteen-year old Jongin would be very naive to have believed that. 

Jongin had always been a carefree child. He had good friends whom he loved going out with. He hung out with them in arcades and played smash bros in one of his friends’ houses. 

He liked to believe he was a simple boy.

But his parents clearly had a different image of him. Young Jongin had been grounded far too many times that he couldn’t take it. His parents decided what course was good for him. They decided what he needed to eat and not to eat. They decided what he needed to wear. All these if he did not start acting  _ decently _ or whatever the hell that was supposed to be.

Following his parents' words, he had dedicated himself to endless studying. He joined clubs and extracurriculars his parents thought would be necessary. He did all these to regain control in his life that was slipping away from his hands every single time he refused to follow his parents’ wishes.

Just this once, he would make them happy and when he was old enough, he would finally live the way he wanted to.

Jongin graduated cum laude in one of the best law schools in Korea at an early age, having been accelerated in the younger years of school. He had proved to be the intelligent and quick-witted young man he was. He had a way with his words and he certainly had a reasoning that even some of the most seasoned lawyers would approve of.

His delight was uncontrollable. He was finally able to reward himself. 

Jongin went to a nightclub with his friends and his mind was set on having fun, let himself loose and indulge in the new-found freedom. Freedom was so much better now that he wasn’t a mere teenager. He was an adult who could now make decisions for himself without being controlled.

Then he met Chanyeol.

Chanyeol who had approached him with such charisma that he felt himself get hypnotized by the aura of the older man. 

And then they ended up on the same bed in which Jongin had instinctively tried to take the lead.

Boy was he so wrong when he thought he was the more dominant one in the situation. 

The night ended in a way he hadn’t expected it to be. He swore in stone to forget it but sweet, sweet, charming Chanyeol had come back. Looking so silly, the older man claimed it to be a coincidence when he had met Jongin in a grocery store near the latter’s apartment.

Jongin laughed at him. “Chanyeol, why in the bloody hell would you buy groceries here if your penthouse is in a village on the other side of the city?”

Jongin didn’t even want to remember how cringey Chanyeol’s excuse was.

The third time he met Chanyeol, the older man had asked for Jongin’s company to a musical. Reasoning out that he had an extra ticket and that Jongin loved ballet. 

Chanyeol was an embarrassing fuck but Jongin found him adorable. 

The next time they met, Chanyeol had initiated it once again. “Just lunch! We can just have lunch like you know—friends?” 

Jongin chuckled at Chanyeol and the latter’s face comically morphed into shock with what Jongin told him. “Oh shut up. Just say it’s a date and go.” 

It had only been a year into the relationship when the two of them decided to move in together. They were just so sure they were the one for each other.

Jongin would never deny that he enjoyed Chanyeol’s presence and despite the older being a truly reckless man, he had managed to be fine with it. 

Even if it meant so many things.

Being with Chanyeol meant limited privacy from the media. Being with Chanyeol meant he had to live with the constant torment that he was not the kind of person Chanyeol’s parents had wanted for him.

But he knew of his own efforts. Jongin made sure he was known for his hard-work, winning trials after trials to prove that he wasn’t merely a boy that had caught luck with a rich man who could pull some strings. 

Jongin was more than that and boy did he prove that.

Though, Jongin had always been weak to temptations. And a man like him who had suppressed them for so long could barely hold any longer. 

Sehun’s words were a plague that Jongin couldn’t avoid. It had been haunting his mind for the past few days. Moving him. Urging him. Telling him that it was an idea worth considering. 

He craved the feel of flesh. It was a deep, dark and carnal desire he wished to bury in the depths of his soul. He loved Chanyeol and he would never cheat on him. Asking Chanyeol about adding a third party was ridiculous. It was something he hadn’t ever thought of until now and it was something that had an outcome he wasn’t sure of. It was a risk. A risk that would make Chanyeol question his love for him.

But he was still a man after all. A man with desires and more than anything, he craved Chanyeol, but the latter would not let him. Neither was Jongin ready to give up control. Jongin had always thought this would be a problem if not at present then in the future. 

He loved Chanyeol but he wasn’t quite ready to embrace the vulnerability. The vulnerability of losing control after he had worked so hard to gain it. Losing it would be like losing himself. Like he had done before. Nothing came good with vulnerability and Jongin had seen that first-hand. 

He loved Chanyeol. He was sure of that. With every single fiber of his being and beyond mere words.

Yet as he walked towards the foreign building he had only imagined but never seen, his insides started to burn uncontrollably. The whorehouse was nothing like he visualized. He had imagined a dirty, stinking building where they sold off their whores in cells covered with dim, red lighting. 

This place, Prism, was classy. If anything, it looked more like a five-star hotel. Well-lit, clean, glamorous and fancy. Nothing like he had expected.

“Good evening, young sir! How may I help you today?”

Jongin wasn’t sure what to say. His mind wasn’t quite in the right place and like a professional, the woman understood his silence.

“Is it your first time, sir?”

Jongin nodded.

“Would you like a male or a female to service you, sir?” 

A part of Jongin’s brain screamed at him to not answer, turn on his heel and leave the place, but an even greater part of it told him he was safe. Unseen. He would never be discovered.

“A male, please.” 

A huge mistake. His mind was blaring like a siren. 

“Ah! We'll be sure to give you the best! Would you like to be serviced inside or outside the building?”

“Here would be fine.”

“Yes, yes of course. Let me take you to your room.”

The woman motioned towards the elevator and Jongin followed suit. Silently battling his inner voices.

The ride on the lift felt so fast. Like it had been a catapult that quickly threw him into the battlefield with little to no preparation.

The room was luxurious. It had a bed in the color of cream, inlaid with a fine red silk; flowers embroidered so delicately that they might have landed there in spring and just sunk in though he knew they took hundreds of hours to sew.

“Your companion, Ruby, will follow shortly after.” The woman bowed before she left, closing the door and leaving Jongin to reconsider his decisions.

//

After the recent incidents, Baekhyun had been resilient. He immediately bounced back and brought himself to a better mental condition. He still had a job, bills to pay and a mouth to feed after all. 

It wasn’t something new. He had always found himself in the darkest pits and the lowest of points but he always managed to come out of it. Scathed but alive nonetheless.

Prism was the place of his nightmares. A place he had despised deeply but this was also the place that was the very reason he wasn’t off in the streets, starving. And somehow, along the way, he had grown to be fine with this place. He could walk through the whole building that he knew like the back of his hand.

“Room 43, Ruby. You hit yourself the jackpot!” Sona, the woman he had met in the lobby the first time he came here, exclaimed. Baekhyun decided he didn’t hate Sona as much as he did the first impression. Sona was a good person, only that she had quite the ability to make people annoyed.

Ruby was the name they called Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun liked to deceive himself that Ruby was a different person in his mind. Baekhyun and Ruby were two different people. Ruby was the whore, Baekhyun was not. Men called his name Ruby, but he was still the same slut they used. The same body they have degraded into the lowest of levels. Ruby was an excuse. Ruby was a person he had created in his mind to delude himself off the reality of his situation. 

Sometimes however, Baekhyun would think there wasn’t much of a difference between them. He would lose the illusion his own mind had created. When Ruby was uttered, moaned and whispered, he couldn’t quite decipher whether it was Ruby or Baekhyun who had responded. These are the times Baekhyun is truly able to witness how he had lost his identity. His identity that must have long succumbed to the reality that he was nothing more than just a fucktoy now.

Baekhyun— _ Ruby  _ clasped the choker on his neck, a bright gemstone in a deep shade of bloody red was attached in the middle of it. The rich color complemented the milky tone of his skin well. 

“Who is it this time? A politician? Dying old man with a mansion?” Baekhyun questioned sarcastically towards Sona who watched him do his make-up in the waiting room.

“This man’s a total greek god! A loaded one at that! Oh how I’d pay so much to be in your position!” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at the woman, finishing off his make-up with a setting spray. A final glance at the mirror made him satisfied. Ez was the name of the man he had first met in the waiting room. Ez had first done Baekhyun’s make-up when he was still new but now, he was more than skilled enough to manage on his own.

Baekhyun knew he looked ravishing enough. Adorned in lace garments. Clear glossed lips. Naturally flushed cheeks. Sparkly eyelids painted in glitter and a subtle pinkish hue. 

“If that greek god you speak of is here to pay people for sex then he might be not so different from all those pigs.” Baekhyun sardonically remarked.

“Oh come on! Don’t be like that. If you’re gonna stay in this thing for a long time then you might as well learn how to enjoy it!” 

To the heavens, Baekhyun prayed he wouldn’t stay here for a long time. 

Baekhyun paced the long corridors of the building as he tried to find his way towards the assigned room. It did not take long before he was standing in front of the door that would welcome him back to his reality.

He calmed his nerves and like a ritual he had always performed, he muttered words of assurance to himself. Toxic positivity that would swallow him whole until he eventually forgot Baekhyun and the life he lived. Until his body would be a mere vessel for Ruby. Ruby who was not real. Ruby who was dirty. Ruby who was cheap. Ruby who had no dignity. 

_ But it didn’t matter _ , he thought as he chanted to himself.

The same words over and over again. Like a mantra, an incantation, a duty he needed to serve.

_ Do everything to survive. _

_ Do everything to survive. _

He exhaled a long and heavy breath before he knocked and twisted the knob slowly.

//

  
  


The door to the room opened lightly and Jongin stared at it with a stoic face, sitting on a single sofa. He held a glass of alcohol in his hand that he occasionally tipped back to take a sip from because if he was gonna do this, he needed alcohol. He needed to be out of his wits. 

A young-looking man had emerged from the door and if Jongin was amazed then he had easily hidden it with an emotionless face. 

The man, whom he assumed to be Ruby, walked towards Jongin with an unwavering stare. It was sensual. So hot. So full of desire that if Jongin had been totally drunk, he wouldn’t notice the slight shock in the male’s rather soft features. 

It wasn’t a new reaction that Jongin had received from people who met him for the first time. He himself had received praises from people around him and it wasn’t that subtle for him not to agree that he was good-looking. Or as most people would whisper behind his back, _strikingly_ _gorgeous_.

But the way the man carried himself with poise and grace would make anyone wish they owned even a single attribute he had. He was truly a sight to behold.

A magnum opus.

With soft, black hair styled in the most fashionable way that complemented his beautiful, pale skin. With what was usually a dull and plain black color that had been worn by him like the greatest work of a designer. And with a magenta-colored blazer that perfectly hugged his slim body in all the right places. 

Chanyeol was dashing and handsome but it would stand to no question that this man—Ruby, was the most  _ beautiful _ Jongin had ever seen. It was undeniable that none of the people Jongin knew could ever amount to the delicacy and elegance Ruby held. Men and women alike.

Jongin’s eyes followed Ruby’s form like a fisherman drawn to a fish swimming to the bait it would never bite. He seemed too gorgeous, too untouchable and too high to be reached that Jongin could only hitch a breath and watch the walking siren.

“Ruby.” Jongin breathlessly uttered as the man approached him. A willing prey to its predator. A stunning man ready to be ravished and to hell was Jongin ready to devour.

“That’s me.” Ruby had whispered low in an impossibly soft voice. Jongin wondered if he had done that on purpose or his voice was just naturally sensual but Ruby sounded so pleasant to the ears. “What would you like me to call you, sir?” 

Jongin inhaled deeply, the rich and sweet scent of Ruby’s perfume invading his senses as the latter came closer to him, leaning forward to trail his fingers along Jongin’s clothed chest.

“Kai.” 

“Kai.” Ruby echoed, smiling with his perfect, little lips. “I like it.”

“May I...may I touch you?” Jongin had asked, voice soft like a feather. Light and breathy. Ruby closed his eyes and slowly nodded.

Nerve endings on Ruby’s jaw told him soft fingers ran across it. Slowly and teasingly. Hesitant yet tender. Jongin’s big hands started from the side of the jaw until it reached the back of the smaller man’s nape, pulling him in.

If Jongin’s brain had been blaring at him like an alarm, then it was now louder. 

_ Do not do this. You will regret it. _

But the desire was more than just a fire to be extinguished by those inner thoughts. 

Jongin’s plump lips planted along the supple skin of Ruby’s collarbone, his warm breath ghosting over the flesh. Ruby had fully seated himself on Jongin’s lap, his shorter legs circling around the older man’s hip.

Ruby tipped his head back for better access, allowing Jongin to encompass the greater and softer spots. Jongin’s hand was big enough to cover a large portion as it sneaked towards Ruby’s waist, gripping it lightly but firmly. 

Ruby looked at Jongin’s eyes. Orbs so dark yet filled with such passion and lust. And as Jongin stared back at Ruby, sparkly, puppy-like eyes, he felt his insides melt and burn with carnal desire.

Jongin stood up, making Ruby encircle his arms around the man’s neck for support before he felt his back being planted gently on the bed. Ruby’s hand roamed around the older’s body for a while before stopping on his dress pants. He unbuckled the belt and unzipped the pants to pull it down easily, Jongin’s erection springing free out of its constraints and brushing against the soft material of Ruby’s lace garments.

Their lower bodies grinded against each other, seeking as much friction as possible as Jongin’s hands pulled Ruby’s garments off, his hard member slapping back against the older’s much larger cock.

Jongin’s eyes had found its way back to Ruby’s again. This time, uttering a silent question to which Ruby had knowingly nodded once again. “Touch me, Kai.”

_ Jongin loved Chanyeol. This was purely sex with no strings attached. Chanyeol was the only man for him. This meant nothing. _

Jongin was in no position to refuse so he did. Reaching over the nightstand to take the bottle of lube. He uncapped it and poured the slick liquid on his palm generously ever so slowly that Ruby may have started to feel a bit impatient.

A soft moan escaped Ruby’s lips when he felt a generously lubed digit get inserted inside him, his nails digging against his own palms from so much sensitivity. He cautiously stretched and curled his finger inside the boy, careful not to hurt him with the intrusion. When he thought it was good enough, he entered the second finger, ultimately making Baekhyun a whimpering mess.

_ Jongin loved Chanyeol.  _

“What do you want, angel?” Jongin whispered into Baekhyun’s ear. The said boy was far too lost that his plush body could only instinctively rut against Jongin’s fingers but a hand clamped onto his hip, pinning him back down onto the bed.

“Answer my question, sweetheart.” 

“Please touch me.”

_ This was purely sex with no strings attached. _

“I am.”

“Not enough.” Ruby whined lowly, fully awakening the beast inside of Jongin. Jongin obliged and entered another finger, expertly thrusting his fingers and finding the smaller man’s prostate easily, making sure not to rub too hard to avoid discomfort.

“I need you now.” Jongin groaned lowly at the pleas of the younger boy before he removed his fingers, Ruby’s hole fluttering as it desperately tried to clamp onto something. The sight was a straight attack to Jongin’s cock. 

_ Chanyeol was the only man for him. _

Jongin pumped his cock a few times before he finally lined it against Ruby’s entrance, slowly pushing inside of him. Ruby gasped at the intrusion, his head falling back as he arched his body. He threw his arms over Jongin's neck, pulling him close and tightened his clasped hands only for the man to pin it back down to the bed, one hand holding both of his wrists above his head. 

Ruby couldn’t help but clench so tightly onto the certainly larger than average cock that had invaded his tight walls, making the taller groan.

_ This meant nothing. _

“Ruby, sweetheart, relax or it’s just gonna hurt.” Ruby managed to comply, inhaling deeply before he relaxed the muscles on his rim. Jongin took this opportunity and filled Ruby to the brim. The whole length of his cock was now buried deep inside the younger but he stayed still, waiting for the boy to adjust as he watched his features contort into that of pain and pleasure.

Ruby’s forehead leaned against the taller's broad chest as he tried to catch his breath. Jongin waited patiently, combing his fingers through the younger’s soft, fluffy hair. 

_ Jongin loved Chanyeol.  _

“Tell me your color so I can move, pup.” Jongin whispered, hands softly caressing Ruby’s face to help relax him. A few seconds of silence passes before the smaller finally grunts a soft “Green.”, which Jongin took as a go signal for him to start thrusting.

He pushed deep and slowly into Ruby, making him let out several kinds of soft mewls and moans that he swore to be the prettiest sounds he had ever heard in his entire lifetime. With every thrust he made, came a soft whimper from Ruby that completely filled the dim room. 

_ This was purely sex with no strings attached.  _

Ruby felt so full and feverish that he can barely form a coherent sentence.

“Faster, Kai. Please! Oh!” The smaller begged to which Jongin complied, quickening his pace, making fast yet accurate thrusts that hit all the right spots. Ruby felt the world shrinking like it’s only him and Jongin with bodies connected and their hot skin touching each other.

_ Chanyeol was the only man for him.  _

Ruby mewled out as he let the other thrust into him. Jongin pulled out until only his tip was intruding before he fucked back inside, his hands roaming around Ruby’s tender and flushed skin.

Jongin wrapped a free hand on Ruby’s forgotten member, making the younger cry out in pleasure. He pumped the small cock into his hand, pre-cum generously leaking and it only took him a few more thrusts before Ruby came in ecstasy, eyes rolling back. Jongin continued his movements and as he watched Ruby’s tear-stained face that expressed his loss into oblivion, Jongin followed shortly, coming inside of the boy and filled him with his thick, warm seed. 

_ This meant nothing.  _

“You did so well Ruby.” Jongin whispered, trailing butterfly kisses on Ruby’s bare and exposed chest as the said boy fell limp onto his arms. “Was it too much?”

“N-no. It was...it was amazing.” 

Jongin hummed in relief, rolling onto his back to lie beside Ruby. He pulled the sheets to cover both of their bodies as they let exhaustion bring them to a deep slumber.

Jongin’s final thoughts were of regret and of a new-found feeling. A feeling he couldn’t quite explain though he was sure of something. He was sure that he still loved Chanyeol and Chanyeol was still the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

And he did not know what he felt towards Ruby but he hated it. He resented the feeling. Chanyeol was the only man he loved. Ruby was a mere prostitute. Ruby was someone who earned money out of sex. Ruby was a random whore. A mere bed-warmer.

But why was Ruby so tantalizing? Why was Ruby so beautiful that Jongin had been attracted to him like he was with Chanyeol? Why is Jongin feeling a strong compulsion to come back and feel Ruby’s body against his?

Lust was man’s weakness. Desire could manipulate a person’s thoughts. 

_ And this hunger could break so many things.  _

  
  


//

  
  


Chanyeol is sure he was going insane.

Chanyeol looked at the wall clock on his and Jongin’s shared penthouse. It was not new for his lover to arrive home late in the night but it would never ease him, knowing that Jongin was out there, tired and stressed out because of work.

And Chanyeol, like a good, diligent and sweet lover, was supposed to worry about Jongin. He was supposed to send Jongin a text and ask him if he had eaten or if he would not be coming home but his mind was still hung on the incident two nights ago. 

The boy who Chanyeol had assumed his age stayed true to his young, baby-like features. Chanyeol had seen models, idols and actresses who were all beautiful with no doubt, but the boy he had met was oddly but certainly more than able to rival their beauty.

Under the dim lighting and the streaks of the moonlight, Chanyeol never would have thought that a man in mere jeans and baggy sweatpants could look so glamorous. So alluring and so captivating. So gorgeous but so lost. 

He wondered what the boy did after he had brusquely taken the bag of charcoal briquettes that Chanyeol was sure would serve another purpose than just roasting meat. It wasn’t difficult to figure it all out, looking at the boy whose posture alone screamed entirely of distraughtness and distress.

Chanyeol felt a foreign urge. An urge to protect the younger man. To know what was happening with him and why he—if Chanyeol had not stopped him, had taken such an impulsive decision to end his life.

Chanyeol was a man who had always lived his life on the edge and to the fullest. He knew how to enjoy life and he would admit that a good portion of it was because he had money and that everything went smoothly for him.

It was perhaps wonder and curiosity but as Chanyeol started to think of how the mysterious boy had looked so stunning, he was starting to lose sense of what was actually making him think of the boy even after two days. Even after he had no clue what the man’s name was and it was even stranger that Chanyeol wanted to know it. 

Chanyeol must be going insane. He had a boyfriend out there who loved him just as much as he did. A boyfriend who was just as interesting and never failed to surprise him with daily discoveries yet here he was, turning his head to another guy out of mere intrigue.

Chanyeol wanted—no, he needed to see the younger boy again. He had to see him. 

This felt like a déjà vu. A memory happening all over again.

A memory from when he had first met Jongin. A memory of the feeling of extreme fascination and tantalization. The sort of feeling that he was sure he would only be able to shrug off if he would be able to see Jongin many more times. 

And he wanted to see the younger boy. He wanted to know what made him so captivating. He needed to gain control of his thoughts. He needed to put a name to this feeling. He needed to put a reason as to why he wanted to see the boy. He wanted to know him. He wanted to know what he did and who he was. He didn’t want their paths to end in a single, unpleasant circumstance. He wanted their paths to cross.

The younger boy was more than just a random guy he had seen. He was a guy who made Chanyeol question so many things. Just like Jongin had done to him for the first time they met.

Chanyeol hated ignorance. He hated being left in the dark. He hated not knowing anything. To Chanyeol, ignorance isn't bliss because to know nothing was to lose control.

His mind burned and he knew this wasn’t just a mere silly thought he had when it was three in the morning.

Chanyeol was a passionate man. A man the epitome of a raging fireball. Steadfast, strong, quick and brilliant. If Chanyeol wanted anything then he would have it. By any means. By hook or by crook. And he swore by the heavens above, that he would meet the boy once again to find answers.

Answers to why Chanyeol was going crazy. Answers to why Chanyeol felt a strong sense of protectiveness wash over him. Answers to why he had made Chanyeol feel like Jongin had. Answers to why he was strikingly similar to Jongin yet so different and just as enticing. Answers to why the boy had looked like he was on the verge of breaking.

The look of exhaustion and raw, unmasked despondency on the younger’s impossibly perfect features struck Chanyeol’s heart. He wanted to know the story behind it. He wanted to know what his life was like.

The boy would stay in his mind, rent-free and continuously running like a broken record until he answered his questions and quenched his unexplainable thirst.

Yeah, Chanyeol was sure he was truly, unstoppably and hopelessly going insane.

//

  
  


.

_ Transcript of Zhang Yixing’s Statement. Part I. _

  
  


_ Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 28, 2021. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: How are you doing, Mr. Zhang? _

__

_ Yixing: I’m great, detective. A bit worried, yes, but I’m fine. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: I see. So I request you to answer all the questions truthfully, alright? _

__

_ Yixing: Yes, sir.  _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Alright, may we start now? _

__

_ Yixing: Yes, sir. [Exhales] _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Okay. This is Detective Ahn Jooyoung of Seoul Central District Police Department to facilitate Mr. Zhang Yixing’s interrogation for Case 120804. Today is October 28, 2021 and the time is currently 3:65 PM. Mr. Zhang, please state your full name. _

__

_ Yixing: Zhang Yixing. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Your age and date of birth please. _

__

_ Yixing: October 7, 1989. I'm 33 years old. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: What do you do for a living? _

__

_ Yixing: I own a pub. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Do you know who Byun Baekhyun is? _

__

_ Yixing: Yes, of course. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: How are you affiliated with him? _

__

_ Yixing: He’s like my child. He works for my pub. _

__

_ Det Ahn: Like a child? _

__

_ Yixing: Oh yes. I took him in when he was young. He had ended up alone in the streets somehow. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: I see. Why did you take him in? _

__

_ Yixing: I felt bad for him. The poor boy had tried to pick-pocket but failed and he just looked so disheartened that my heart couldn’t bear it. [Chuckles] _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Alright. What time does he usually finish up for his part-time job? _

__

_ Yixing: About 8 PM. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: Are you aware if he goes straight to his apartment or he goes somewhere else? _

__

_ Yixing: I don’t suppose I’d know the answer to that but the boy must have gone home immediately after every shift. He still has school after all and he would be tired. _

__

_ Det. Ahn: But you haven’t seen him change clothes after his shift? _

__

_ Yixing: Not that I would know! _

__

_ Det. Ahn: I see. Would you be able to tell us more about Baekhyun-ssi? _

__

_ Yixing: I suppose I can... _

__

_ to be continued _

_ // _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> thoughts about the style of writing or if it isn’t your cup of tea? 
> 
> also, i would just like to say that i personally don’t think cheating is a good thing so don’t fight me! 
> 
> p.s. if any of you are confused as to who Ruby is, Ruby is Baekhyun. Just pointing it out for people who might have missed it or people who like to skip some lines while reading because I sure as hell do that! lmao
> 
> do know that i’m open to constructive criticism although i’m always very very anxious and pressured about my writing especially that i write, edit and proofread it by myself. i also don’t have a beta reader so yea, please bear with me.
> 
> english is also not my first language and i’m constantly trying to learn more and grow on writing my stories through this language.


	4. desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it was time for Baekhyun to slowly loosen the chains in his life.
> 
> Jongin is guilty.
> 
> And Chanyeol's disappointed but not in Jongin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! sorry for the really late updates because entrance exams for college is coming and i'm too busy studying for it but here it is!
> 
> enjoy reading!

//

  
  


Really, there wasn’t much that Baekhyun wished for. 

He didn’t want a sports car or a mansion. He didn’t want designer clothes. He didn’t want to be so rich that his daily dinners would consist of steak and a fancily cooked stick of asparagus.

Baekhyun simply wanted to have a comfortable life. One where he wouldn’t have to work his bones for bills. One where he didn’t have to live like a wanted criminal. One where he could freely make friends. One where he could find his own passion.

Baekhyun also fucking wished his hands would stop shaking so terribly. His fingers had long been trembling into violent spurs of spasms that he started to feel every bit of his sanity disappear.

Baekhyun just wanted to finish his long due paper in literature yet his mind was already going places and not even his body wanted to cooperate.

Baekhyun’s phone lit up, a message notification popping up on the screen. 

_Kim Jongdae:_

_Hey, I’m sorry about last time at the diner._

_Are you free? Can we talk?_

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and shut the phone, carelessly throwing it to somewhere he didn’t bother looking at. 

Baekhyun’s mouth twitched. A familiar urge creeping to his system. Baekhyun was about three weeks clean and he certainly didn’t want to break his streak just because he couldn’t stop thinking of some person he had spent a night with.

Yet as he tried to talk with himself and provide all the reasons not to continue, he failed miserably. With a groan of frustration, he slammed the book close and crawled from where he sat on the floor towards the nightstand. He hastily pulled the drawer and grabbed the pack of cigarettes that most probably had about two to four sticks left. Baekhyun reminded himself that he had to ask Sona to buy him another.

Baekhyun clearly knew the risks that came with smoking and it was something he did not expect to find himself doing either but Sona had told him how helpful it would be especially for the job that he had. So in a desperate chase for tranquility and ease, he hesitantly accepted Sona’s advice.

With fingers still spasming, Baekhyun pulled out a stick from the pack. He placed it between his lips and with much struggle, he rolled the metal wheel down with his thumb towards the ignition button. Three consecutive little sparks indicated failure, his shaky hands proving to be useless when he had his tics. Finally, the spark ignited the gas and he placed it near the butt of the cigarette.

Baekhyun took a drag, the end of the cig glowing brightly and with that, he felt the first wave of relief washing over him. His senses slowly calmed down and his rapid heartbeat raced to a steadier pace.

He threw the pack somewhere across the floor and scooted in the space between his bed and the nightstand. He took another drag and tipped his head back, leaning against the chipped painted walls. 

_“Kai.”_

Baekhyun had whispered subconsciously, tapping his feet rapidly against the floor. His hands crept to his neck, breathing heavily as if he could feel the ghost of Kai’s lips trailing over it. 

Kai with no doubt, was a beautiful specimen. He was an artwork Baekhyun wouldn’t dare taint. With beautifully tanned skin that glistened with sweat, tall nose, a jawline perfectly shaped, and hair so perfectly styled, Kai made Baekhyun feel like a palace rat. Baekhyun was never confident about his looks. He did feel good when he was groomed and dressed up but he thought that not even that state of him would account to half of Kai’s beauty. 

Baekhyun was never one to observe his clients, but Kai was too much of an alluring aura to be missed. His body seemed to be perfectly sculpted by the gods. His voice was so luscious and so deep that even sirens would be ashamed.

And his eyes, oh heavens his eyes. His eyes that stole the color of the night and carried the deepest hues of unwavering lust and passion. The emotions swirling into his orbs and conveying it to Baekhyun with no shame, telling him he was the very source of such feelings. 

Baekhyun chuckled humorlessly, lightly tapping the stick to shrug off the ashes that built up on its end.

Baekhyun wished Kai wouldn’t have come to that place. If a man so perfect like him had come to such a place, wouldn’t he be just another pig? Just another creepy old man who would pay people for sex? Baekhyun wished Jongin hadn’t lost his honor that way.

But as his body trembled, his fingers shook and his heart became erratic, he found himself reminiscing the touch of the same man. Baekhyun could still feel the ghost of Jongin, touching him, ravishing him and whispering to him.

He had never felt so good. He had never felt such emotions.

Orgasms were a biological reaction upon sexual stimulation, Baekhyun told himself that. It was something that kept himself at least sane that when he moaned and screamed for his client, it was simply an unstoppable biological reaction. Baekhyun didn’t feel good with his job and the men he slept with. 

Oddly, he found himself questioning that when he had spent the night with Kai. Sex had never felt so deep and warm. So full of raw emotion. So full of unmasked desire. 

Kai had made him feel good in so many ways. Kai had whispered so softly to him like his own pleasure even mattered. Baekhyun was to do the service yet it felt like he was the one who received it instead. Kai was gentle in his touches, firmly solid but cautious with rough calloused hands. 

Kai had asked him for his permission. Kai looked at him. Kai watched him. Kai _saw_ him. 

He wasn’t invisible. Baekhyun did not feel like a rag doll. An emotionless, faceless and brainless sex toy. He never felt like that with Kai. Kai had pleasured him. 

Even if it was just Ruby. And Baekhyun would be insane if he wanted it to be him and _not Ruby._ Baekhyun thought he was ridiculous. Envying the cheaper whore in him when they clearly shared the same body but he knew it was different. Baekhyun was not Ruby. Baekhyun wanted Kai to touch _Baekhyun_. 

This was some mere attraction and despite all that desire pooling at Baekhyun’s guts, he knew it was a distraction.

Friendships. Attraction. _Love_. They were nothing but distractions and they had to be suppressed long before they even started to grow in the tiniest bit.

But he wanted Kai. Baekhyun wished Kai would come back. Even if it was for something as low as sex. Even if it was a meaningless act. That was his job after all but somehow in some way, Kai had cut the first of the strings that held Baekhyun back.

This time, Baekhyun would allow himself to want.

And so he let his hand travel deeper, working it’s way down to his pants. Grabbing the forgotten bottle of lube under his mattress, he uncapped it to pour a generous amount on his fingers. 

He brought his legs close to himself as one arm holding the cigarette leaned on top of one knee. He inserted a finger into his hole and moaned, images of Kai flashing before his eyes. 

He added a finger and another. And another until he was moaning deliriously, quivering into his own hand but in the thoughts of Kai. He whispered Kai’s name. He called for it. He whimpered for it. 

His pace quickened, fingers thrusting into his own harder as obscene moans spilled out of his pretty mouth. And he did it again and again until he reached his high, coming with a low groan. 

The dim lighting of his room reflected on the glistening sweat that covered Baekhyun’s body, his mind lost in a space he wouldn’t be able to get out for a few moments. 

Baekhyun hadn’t done something as obscene as this. He had never tried to even touch himself and this was certainly not on his to-do list: fuck himself to the thought of a client.

He stared lifelessly at the mess that he was, groaning in frustration as he took one last drag of the cigarette and leaned back on the wall. A dry smile made its way to his features.

Baekhyun was truly a mindless whore. 

_Baekhyun and Ruby might not be so different after all._

  
  
  


//

  
  


The first time Jongin had a concussion was when he accidentally got hit by a soccer ball in the head back when he was in middle school. It wasn’t a pretty experience. It was awful and nauseating. 

The second time might happen now as Jongin hit himself continuously. 

_Stupid, stupid, reckless Jongin._

He chanted repeatedly as he banged the top of his fist against his forehead. Jongin surely had a penchant for being reckless and regretting his decisions when he had already made the mistake. 

He tried to erase the memories of Ruby. He wanted to forget about it. Remove the memories’ existence from his mind like it never happened.

Chanyeol should never know. Chanyeol must stay clueless. Jongin decided he would let it go and move on like nothing had happened. That’s what he decided.

But guilt was clawing at his heart. He was stupid. He had cheated on Chanyeol. Chanyeol who had been nothing but the best boyfriend he could ever ask for. Chanyeol who made him happy. Chanyeol who he had spent so much time with. Chanyeol who knew him better than any other person did.

He had broken the purity of their relationship all for a temptation he didn’t manage to suppress. 

Jongin was recklessly stupid. 

He should have been wallowing in the deepest pits of self-berating but the urge to do it again was stronger. He yearned to see Ruby once again. He ached for Ruby. He had wanted to rush back to that place and drop everything he could, pay as much as he could just to see Ruby again. 

He did not understand why. He did not know why but Jongin has never been one to ignore his own brain. 

Jongin groused, opening the door to their shared penthouse, welcoming himself in the dark. The lights are closed and the place is quiet so he immediately assumed Chanyeol was already sleeping.

This, he confirmed as he pushed the door towards the bedroom where his lover laid asleep.

He sighed, loosening his tie and quietly slid himself on the space beside Chanyeol. Jongin leaned in to plant a soft kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek.

The giant stirred, eyes fluttering open to meet Jongin’s own gaze.

“You’re late. Tough day at work?” Chanyeol groggily questioned, gathering his boyfriend into his arms.

Jongin hummed and closed his eyes to savor the warmth that Chanyeol’s body exuded. 

“Yeah.” 

Jongin’s heart twisted into knots. Jongin hated liars. He hated lying to people who are dear to him, most especially Chanyeol. But when he thought of admitting it to Chanyeol, the fear crawled up his throat, forming a lump to prevent him from saying the truth.

The fear that when Chanyeol found out, the older would leave him. Would never look at him the same way. Would call him a cheating bastard. And the fear that he would see Chanyeol break.

Jongin knew Chanyeol’s demons better than anyone did. He knew the things that would make Chanyeol happy. He knew the things that would break Chanyeol and he can’t say the truth, knowing well that it would do exactly just that.

“Did you have dinner already?” Chanyeol questioned, rubbing his eyes. 

“Yeah, did you?” 

“Mhm.”

Jongin hummed, wrapping his arms back around Chanyeol and placed his head on the latter’s chest, listening to his steady, calming heartbeat.

“Yeol, you love me no matter what, right?”

“Of course I do, what kind of question is that?”

“You need no one else but me, right?”

“What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

“Just...you know how hard it’s been between us two in bed...Will I be enough?”

“Babe you know how much I love you.” Chanyeol replied with a worried frown, fingers brushing through Jongin’s hair. “Wait, did you drink? You never told me your team had a night out.”

“O-oh. I just...I just had a bit. We didn’t get to celebrate our last case.”

“I see. I’ll make you something for a hangover tomorrow. Sleep now. You must be tired.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And as the pair hugged each other to sleep, Jongin was once again reminded of all the reasons why he loved Chanyeol. All the reasons why Chanyeol was worth the frustration. All the reasons why Jongin did not have to look elsewhere. 

_But why did Ruby seem more than just a one-time fuck?_

When Jongin woke up the next day, Chanyeol had been true to his words about cooking for him and as Jongin sat miserably alone by the dinner table, his wandering thoughts ate him up. 

Ruby. Sweet, tantalizing Ruby. A beauty that rivals even that of the most valuable gemstone.

Ruby’s soft skin, his black hair and the collar that clasped on the smooth surface of his neck. It all went by too fast. Jongin had decided to move on but it didn’t feel like it was enough.

He wanted more. He wanted to explore more of Ruby. He wanted to feel Ruby again. He wanted more than just one night. It all felt too quick like Jongin had not done half of what he wanted to do to Ruby.

Destroy him. Corrupt him. Devour him. Defile him. Use him. 

He wanted to see how Ruby would break underneath him. He wanted to see the plethora of faces Ruby could make under different ways of pleasure.

And Jongin would be lying if he said he had imagined all that without Chanyeol in the picture because by the angels, his cock had grown hard just by the mere thought of watching his own lover plow into the same man he had been having sinful desires about.

Ruby in their bed like he was a treasured gemstone. A priced fortune he wouldn’t let anyone else see. 

Jongin’s fingers twitched.

It was wrong. It was sick and twisted. It was a game he wanted to play where he knew most of the damage would land on the same boy he thought of using.

But Jongin had always loved games and games are all easy to control.

And Ruby had ignited a bigger fire in the dying spark inside Jongin without even knowing it. Jongin would make Ruby take responsibility. Jongin would find him even if it meant going back to Prism. Even if it meant he had to pay for it. Even if it seemed like he was merely paying Ruby to reciprocate the desire.

Because if anyone had the means and didn’t make use of it then they were nothing but a stupid fool. 

So it would stand to no question that Kim Jongin, the loyal boyfriend of Park Chanyeol had found himself wandering around the streets of the red-light district, his feet leading him to the familiar building by the next day. 

Jongin had gone to the same place that led him into a situation he did not know how to get out of yet he was still walking with no hesitation but with a single word hanging at the tip of his tongue.

_Ruby_.

  
  


//

  
  


Chanyeol, being the early bird that he was, had woken up early in the morning to prepare a hangover stew for Jongin. He wrote a cute little note for his boyfriend and placed the pot on the dining table. With one last goodbye kiss on his lover’s forehead, he drove off to his workplace. 

Chanyeol reached his workplace in a short while, sitting on his desk like he usually does every morning to organize his own thoughts before the day actually started.

A valet clothed in a fancy suit and had sleek black hair with gray streaks entered the elevator that opened directly into Chanyeol’s private office. His office was a huge room that occupied the corner of the building with floor-to-ceiling windows, showing a beautiful scenery of the concrete jungle. 

The two remaining walls were painted grey. Against it was a low bookshelf and a single oil painting. The black glass surface of his desk was equally uncluttered with his laptop and paperwork properly stacked.

Chanyeol readjusted his tie, his attention turning to the man who had entered.

“Hyung.”

The said man smiled warmly at Chanyeol, placing an envelope on top of the latter’s desk. Chanyeol took the envelope from Junmyeon and leaned back on his chair, pulling out a file.

“Very limited details about his early life. He goes by the name Byun Baekhyun. He is currently a senior student at Seoul Central High.”

“He’s just eighteen?”

“Yes. That, I believe, sir.”

Chanyeol took a deep breath.

“And his family?”

“Deceased. They were found dead in their house about five years ago.”

“Dead? How?”

Junmyeon coughed a bit before speaking quietly. “Suicide.”

“Was Baekhyun not put up for adoption?” Chanyeol frowned in confusion, turning the pages of the file.

“No sir. We don’t have enough information about that.”

“How did he support himself? Does he work?”

“He works part-time at a pub.”

“That’s it? How would that even be enough?”

“I apologize sir. There’s very limited information about this person. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the sudden interest in a high school student?”

“I don’t know. I just met him last time outside a convenience store. He has not gone out of my mind since then.”

“I see. Then I’ll dig deeper to find more information about him.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Junmyeon nodded and bowed his head before walking out of the room, heading towards the lift.

As soon as he disappeared from sight, Chanyeol was left alone, fingers brushing along the words on the paper. 

_The pub’s address._

The gears in Chanyeol’s mind started turning. Thinking of ways on how to meet Baekhyun without seeming like a total creep.

Jongin’s words however seemed to be haunting him as well. Jongin did not seem like himself last night and Chanyeol knew when there was a problem. Jongin had said some things that didn't seem so easy to shrug off.

_“Yeol, you love me no matter what, right?”_

Odd. Jongin had never questioned Chanyeol’s love for him. They were quite the strong pair. The two of them have built trust between them like no other. It was so solid and so pure that even the smallest mistakes were admitted to each other. 

There has got to be something wrong. Chanyeol wasn’t stupid and he knew how to read his boyfriend.

But Chanyeol respected Jongin and his choices so if he had to, then he would wait for Jongin to tell him himself. 

Speaking of confession, Chanyeol wondered if he should tell Jongin his growing curiosity about a boy he just met. Sure, Chanyeol knew Jongin well but nothing like this has ever happened so he didn’t know how he was going to gauge Jongin’s reaction. Jongin was a pretty open person but he still didn’t want to risk anything. He wasn’t ready to have Jongin see him as a taken man looking at another person.

For now, Chanyeol would have to find out what was so special about Baekhyun, hoping that Jongin would see it too. 

The day quickly passed by, the usual workload being catapulted to Chanyeol and he did them diligently. Chanyeol was an efficient man and he surely got to pin those workloads down as soon as it was possible.

With a resolve and a plan in his mind, he sent a quick text to check up on Jongin, smiling to himself when he gets a reply. 

The pub as Chanyeol had expected was quite small but it would probably be the biggest in the area. The surrounding neighborhoods did nothing to ease Chanyeol’s mind. It was dark.

It seemed like a village where drug addicts and thugs frequented. Chanyeol had even thought of the possibility that he might get mugged but the bright street lights provided some bit of assurance.

As Chanyeol opened the door, bells attached to it jingled, indicating his arrival. With no hesitation, Chanyeol headed straight towards the counter where a middle-aged man stood, wiping the counter top with a rug.

“Welcome to Retro, how may I help you, sir?”

“Is there a Byun Baekhyun who works here?”

“May I ask why?”

“I have something to talk about with him.”

“Apologies but the boy is not here right now. He called out sick for work.”

“An address would work well too.”

“Sorry but I don’t give out such information about my employees.” The man smiled and Chanyeol was almost fooled by the dimpled grin had he not detected the venom as the man spat the words out, clearly hostile and threatening. 

“I assure you that I have no bad intentions.”

“I never said you had any. I simply just cannot drop personal information.”

“Not even when I offer you money?”

“I have no intention of taking it. I suggest that you come back when Baekhyun’s in for work again.”

“How very unfortunate. May I know your name, please?”

“Yixing. Zhang Yixing.”

“I see. Well Mr. Zhang, I appreciate your respect for your employee's privacy. I’ll try my luck next time. Have a nice day.”

_Byun Baekhyun, you are one tough fish to catch._

//

Baekhyun believed he had a strong mind. He believed that he had built strong walls around him that no insult could ever wound his already battered and weary heart. Clearly, his walls hadn’t been built strong enough if Jongdae’s words had managed to provoke when he didn’t even mean to do so. 

Baekhyun wasn’t a weak-minded person. Maybe those were just his weaknesses. Baekhyun wasn’t one to take shit from people. He just wished they would stop hitting the nerves and his weak spots because Baekhyun doesn’t trust himself enough to win if they had done so.

Chatter buzzed across the halls as students whispered to each other like bees, spreading hearsay that ranged from silly gossips to atrocious rumors about how Baekhyun brought men to his bed and killed them in their sleep. Atrocious indeed. Baekhyun could only chuckle humorlessly to himself because if he ever did manage to catch from which mouth those words had come from, he wouldn’t stand back down.

And that, he did as he passed by a woman, with a long ponytail and obnoxiously red-colored fish lips.

_"That bitch walks these halls with no shame, he clearly knows everyone talks about him. Remind me to blow his brains out of that thick skull one of these days."_

Baekhyun stopped into an abrupt halt and everyone's breath suddenly hitched like the boy had complete control over their breaths and true to some degree, their lives. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at the woman, turning his body towards her. He grabbed the long end of the woman's hair and tugged it downwards, forcing the woman to look up at him. She gasped at the sudden force which only made the mischievous grin in Baekhyun’s face grow wider.

"I doubt you'd be able to do that—" He whispered coyly, twisting his hand to grip the hair tighter as he continued "but I can definitely blow dick better than you can, honey."

“Ah, really? Where’d you learn it from? Your mommy?” The girl sneered , face morphing into something cynical. “Oh wait—I heard you’re an orphan!”

Baekhyun’s face had changed so quickly. His innards twisted in anger. His fist burned, wanting to connect with the bitch’s face and punch the living shit out of her.

“Say that again and I’ll make sure I’m not the only orphan here!” Baekh yun seethed, releasing his hold on the girl’s oily hair before turning his back as the last attempt to stop himself from murdering a girl in broad daylight.

“Say what? That you’re an orph—” The girl didn ’t manage to finish her words when Baekhyun suddenly lunged at her, hands gripping tightly at the collar of the girl.

“Hey! Hey! Baek! Calm down!” A familiar voice warned behind him and he felt a pair of hands clutch onto his own, making him let go of the woman. “You don’t wanna get in trouble Baek.” 

Jongdae pulled him, caressing his back as they found their way out of the crowd Baekhyun didn’t notice building up. As soon as the two of them were out of sight, Baekhyun ripped Jongdae’s hands away from him, earning a sigh from the older.

“What was that Baek? Are you alright? She didn’t hurt you, right?”

“No.” Baekhyun answered meekly, looking down at his shoes to avoid Jongdae’s eyes.

Baekhyun had lost his cool and he wasn’t proud of it. Now all the other students had more reasons to make fun of him. To mock him. To invent rumors about him. To torment him verbally as if he hadn’t already been suffering enough.

He groaned in frustration.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun whispered lowly. Jongdae looked at him, tilting his head with a confused frown. Baekhyun replied, “For stopping me. For pulling me out back there.”, to satisfy Jongdae’s confusion.

Jongdae smiled and shook his head. “That was nothing. After...after what happened at the diner, it’s the least i could do. Well I mean I didn’t do that just because I owed you but I did that because well—you’re Baekhyun and...and those girls are mean and annoying and I’m rambling oh god I’m sorry!” 

Baekhyun suppressed the growing grin on his face and nodded simply at Jongdae. “It’s okay. My emotions just got the best of me. That was pretty shallow and uncalled for. It’s not your fault.”

“Hey it’s alright. You don’t have to invalidate your emotions. It’s okay to be mad at times. It’s human nature, we can’t stop it.”

The chains in Baekhyun’s mouth broke as he helplessly let out a grin, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“You’re pretty cool, Jongdae.”

“And you’re amazing Baek! So...friends?”

Baekhyun’s heart skipped. The familiar panic creeping up to his system and the lump lodging at his throat. His heart rate sped up. The same thoughts coming back at him all over again just like chains clasped tight at his ankles and pulling him back if he even dared to take a step away.

“F-friends…?”

Jongdae beamed. “Yes! A friend like you know? Someone to spend sleepovers and watch Disney movies with? Do crazy stuff and eat out. Go out to amusement parks and try different restaurants out?”

“That...that sounds nice.”

“It is! So what do you say? Will Byun Baekhyun finally grant me the honor of being his friend after I bugged him for so long?”

Baekhyun smiled warmly, eyes crinkling into crescents. Baekhyun wasn’t sure of anything and with the kind of life he lived, fun and relationships weren’t a luxury he could afford. Baekhyun couldn’t live life on the edge. Fun was a foreign feeling to Baekhyun. There were so many firsts that Baekhyun probably wouldn’t experience in this lifetime. 

Baekhyun had to live a life where he questioned everything and had to know how the real world worked and ran because he had no one to do that for him.

He was a lone rogue who had no pack to help him. He was a person who had to fend for himself and nobody else. Baekhyun was a prisoner of his own life.

But Baekhyun had allowed himself to want.

_So maybe it wouldn’t hurt if he allowed himself to have a friend._

“Okay, Jongdae. Be my first friend.”

  
  


//

  
  


_Transcript of Kim Junmyeon’s Statement._

_Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 28, 2021._

_Det. Ahn: Junmyeon._

_Junmyeon: Ahn._

_Det. Ahn: Fancy seeing you again._

_Junmyeon: Shame, for the feeling is not mutual._

_Det. Ahn: Ah. With the amount of times I’ve met you every time you bailed Chanyeol out of jail I would have thought we formed quite the...relationship._

_Junmyeon: If you don’t mind, I wish to keep this interrogation completely professional._

_Det. Ahn: You and Chanyeol haven’t changed at all._

_Jongdae: Oh, Detective Ahn. So many things have changed._

_Det. Ahn: Really? You seem like the same uptight Junmyeon I met but if you so wish to get this done with, let’s begin._

_Det. Ahn: This is Detective Ahn Jooyoung of Seoul Central District Police Department to facilitate Mr. Kim Junmyeon’s interrogation for Case 120804. Today is October 28, 2021 and the time is currently 7:24 PM. Mr. Kim, please state your full name._

_Junmyeon: Kim Junmyeon._

_Det. Ahn: Your age and date of birth please._

_Junmyeon: May 22, 1989. I'm 33 years old._

_Det. Ahn: What do you do?_

_Junmyeon: Park Corporation’s Chief of Staff._

_Det. Ahn: Do you know who Byun Baekhyun is?_

_Junmyeon: Yes._

_Det. Ahn: How are you affiliated with him?_

_Junmyeon: He is my boss’ friend._

_Det Ahn: Ah, Park Chanyeol shares his friends with you now?_

_Junmyeon: l don’t see a reason not to._

_Det. Ahn: I find that hard to believe. Please do tell how exactly you became involved with Mr. Byun._

_Junmyeon: It’s not that big, really. Mr. Park just introduced me to him._

_Det. Ahn: [Clicks tongue] You two are hiding something and you’re doing it quite well._

_Junmyeon: Believe what you want to believe._

_Det. Ahn: Mr. Kim, this is the Deputy Minister we are talking about and I hope you do not take his death lightly._

_Junmyeon: What? Do you expect me to grieve like everybody else? I have nothing to do with Mr. Lee._

_Det. Ahn: I just hope you’re saying the truth because it won’t be pretty if we dig up the dirt you all have been trying to hide._

_Junmyeon: Do try but I assure you no such dirt will be found._

_Det. Ahn: If you say so._

_Junmyeon: Now if I could take my leave? I’m a very busy man and this has taken enough of my hours._

_to be continued_

_//_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it? 🥺
> 
> pls tell me your opinions about this story 🥺


	5. imprudence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun learns that the third time really is the charm.
> 
> And someone really needs to shut Sehun’s mouth for Jongin’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy reading!

//

The first time Baekhyun saw the man waiting on a table at the pub he worked at, he thought the guy was familiar. He looked like someone Baekhyun had come across. He wasn’t quite sure when but he just knew that he had met the man prior to that day. 

Baekhyun thought the man was a creep. He briefly wondered if the man had been his client once and remembered his face because of the long, hard stare he has been receiving.

Baekhyun grimaced at the thought, walking around as he wiped the tables. He focused his gaze on his task, trying hard to ignore the pair of eyes long buried into his face. Baekhyun felt like a subject under observation and his actions had been strangely toned down. Cautious and hesitant as if he even cared about making a mistake in front of the strange man. 

Baekhyun decided that he could not take it anymore, sighing in exasperation as he approached the man with a questioning look. He raised his brow and stood in front of the man.

“Is there a problem, sir?”

“It’s really you.”

Baekhyun frowned. Now the strange man was talking nonsense too, great.

“I’m not sure I know of what you are talking about.” Baekhyun tried with a docile reply, hoping that the hostility wasn’t obvious in his voice.

“As much as I’m aware, I’m quite a remarkable person.”

Baekhyun internally rolled his eyes. A strange creep who was also narcissistic, what a fine day!

“Forgive me but I have difficulty with recognizing people. Have we met before?”

“At the convenience store.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened, his grip on the metal tray he was holding tightened.

“Y-you...Chanyeol?”

“You still remember my name after all. I’d take that.”

“W-what are you doing here?!”

“Can’t I go and eat at a pub now?”

“No...that’s not what I meant—I just…”

Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun so blindingly that he almost felt his heart flatline at the simple act. Baekhyun was now reminded why the mysterious man actually took a decent portion of his raging thoughts for the past week. He could now clearly see the man’s face and boy did Baekhyun’s mouth run dry and drop agape.

Chanyeol looked even better now that the lighting was greater. Baekhyun could now clearly see the huge, bulky frame of the man. Chanyeol was surely a man of height and oozing confidence as he stood at least a head taller than Baekhyun.

“I tried to find you, Byun Baekhyun.”

“You what…?”

“You’re quite an interesting person. I wish to know you better.” Chanyeol grinned like a fox before he looked at the watch on his wrist and stood up. “But I’m afraid I must take my leave now. I’ll see you again, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun was left dumbfounded on his spot. Chanyeol’s words still fuzzy and unclear to him as he let his mind slowly process the happenings while he stayed rooted to ground. Great. Now that was one additional thing to think and worry about for Baekhyun. Great. Just great.

Chanyeol stayed true to his words about seeing him again. 

It was on a rainy Wednesday. Baekhyun thought that the state agency absolutely did a poor job of forecasting rain in the past few weeks. Baekhyun is a poor victim.

The forecast said there was a huge percentage of chance that it would rain on that day. Baekhyun thought the agency had messed up again and didn’t bother bringing an umbrella. And out of all the days the agency could’ve gotten the forecast right, it had to be that day when Baekhyun finally decided to not believe in them.

He totally jinxed himself this time. 

So there, Baekhyun stood in front of the school gate, waiting by the little shed as he prayed for the rain to die down until it was possible for him to sprint to the nearest bus stop.

Though, the rain did not seem like it would be stopping anytime soon. If anything, the clouds seemed to be getting heavier as the time went by and Baekhyun was afraid it would be dark soon as the sun slowly set.

After much deliberation, Baekhyun decided he would sprint for the bus stop. As he stepped out of the shed, fat droplets of rain quickly splattered against his body. Like tissue dropped on water, his clothes immediately got soaked. 

Halfway through, Baekhyun was already as wet as a fish when he heard a car honk behind him. He quickly whipped his head to the side and there he saw a sleek black car slow down to match his pace. The window quickly rolled down and there sat in the driver’s seat, Chanyeol. 

“Baekhyun? What are you doing out there! Get in!”

“What are you doing here?”

“I suggest you get inside first unless you want to get any more soaked than you already are.”

Baekhyun looked back at the bus stop that was still a bit too far and with a bit of hesitation, he finally opened the car’s door and climbed into the seat.

He sat on the far edge of the leather seat lest he would ruin it with his wet clothes and he certainly would break the bank if he had to pay for it.

“Are you following me?”

Chanyeol ignored him and reached out to the backseat, grabbing a plain white shirt from God knows where. 

“Change. You’ll get sick.”

“You did not answer my question.” Baekhyun narrowed his eyes. Chanyeol stared back at him without saying a word, still holding out the shirt for Baekhyun.

After what seemed like a staring contest, Baekhyun gave up and took the shirt from Chanyeol’s hands. “H-here?”

“Where else, smarthead?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Don’t look.”

Chanyeol looked at him with raised brows and without saying anything, he turned his head back to the road, driving with one hand and his other arm leaning onto the window.

“Done.” After what felt like forever, Baekhyun had muttered meekly, holding his soaked shirt in his hand and the fairly large white shirt had now been worn by him. It engulfed his petite frame, the fabric soft against his skin.

“Answer my question, Chanyeol.”

“You look good.”

“For a man who looks like he lived my life twice, you are quite stubborn.”

“Are you telling me I look old?!” Chanyeol gasped, a comical look of shock invading his features.

“Exactly what I said. So did you follow me here, you creep?”

“You wound me Baekhyun-ssi. I did not follow you and I certainly am not a creep—or anything of the sort!”

Baekhyun snorted, shivering slightly at the cold air from the air-conditioning unit. Chanyeol seemed to have noticed, reaching out to lower the power.

Silence immediately engulfed the atmosphere. A thick elastic wrapping around the car like it would break with the increasing tension.

Reaching the fourth bus-stop, Chanyeol decided to break the silence. “Where is your place?”

Baekhyun’s breath hitched, quickly looking out and thanked the heavens in relief that the rain had already died down. Baekhyun wasn’t about to let this creepy man know about the place he lived. 

“No...just—just drop me off at the last bus stop.”

“It’s fine I can just drive to your flat. It’ll be safer.”

“Chanyeol, no.”

“Really, Baekhyun it’s going to be—“

“I said no, Chanyeol.”

“Baek—“

“Stop the car.” Baekhyun warned. “Stop the car or I’ll jump out.” 

Chanyeol’s eyes flickered with an emotion Baekhyun couldn’t decipher but he was glad the man decided to follow him for once, stopping into an abrupt halt in front of the waiting shed.

“Stupid, creepy man!” Baekhyun grumbled under his breath and opened the door, climbing out of the seat. He waited for Chanyeol to finally speed away before he walked down the block to his apartment.

Chanyeol was annoying and he was what Baekhyun would usually call something that drives into his routine, a distraction. Baekhyun wished it would be the last time he would meet Chanyeol.

Although surely, fate had other plans for the two of them.

Jongdae agreed to meet Baekhyun near the bus stop and the older arrived just on time with his car. Briefly, the younger feared for his life, immediately doubting Jongdae’s driving skills. “Bold of you to assume I’m going to welcome death by getting in that car  _ you  _ are driving.” 

Jongdae only chuckled at him and nagged at him to get in before he froze in the cold. Not long after, they pulled up in a nightclub in the vibrant streets of Itaewon. Baekhyun lightly squeaked at the abrupt stop from Jongdae and quickly got out of the car. 

Prism was around a bunch of nightclubs but Baekhyun had never been inside one. Prism had always looked more like a hotel than a whorehouse anyway. He didn’t know what to expect but he surely did feel a rush of excitement at the prospect of fun. 

Clad in a simple silk red button up shirt and tight leather pants, Baekhyun followed Jongdae as they lined up outside the establishment. Baekhyun didn’t even want to know how Jongdae managed to sneak the two of them in.

As soon as he entered, the strong smell of alcohol together with the faint scent of mixed perfume and sweat immediately hit him, heightening his senses. “Loosen up, Baek!" Jongdae yelled into his ear, handing him a glass before disappearing into the thick crowd.

It was a Friday night and Jongdae had been bugging Baekhyun that Friday nights were supposed to be used wisely. Baekhyun had always managed to ignore Jongdae’s antics but the older man whined for way too long that he couldn’t take it anymore and finally agreed.

Baekhyun felt bad for Yixing who had to manage the pub with just two staff members alone on a Friday night that would surely be hectic but the elder had only shrugged him off and told him he deserved some rest.

So there, Baekhyun grumpily sat by the bar, grousing on the stool as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. He was excited but he isn’t so sure anymore, now that Jongdae has totally ditched him.

“It seems fate is pretty adamant on making sure we meet again.” Baekhyun heard a familiar voice behind him say. He looked to his side and there sat the very subject of his dreams and unwavering thoughts. 

Chanyeol looked as fine as he always did. Tall and handsome. Dashing and gorgeous.

He wore a black polo shirt, the sleeves folded around his arm to showcase the shining gold wrist watch. His hair had been slicked up like last time. Baekhyun wondered how the veins in the older man’s arms managed to make him feel things when Chanyeol was merely holding a glass of alcohol Baekhyun didn’t really know the name of.

“It seems to me that you are pretty adamant on making sure I’m dead, Mr. Serial Killer?”

“You must be mistaken. I did not know you were going to be here but it certainly isn’t a problem too. If anything, I’m pleased that I get to see you again. Don’t you feel the same?”

“Oh fuck off Chanyeol.” Baekhyun snorted, stifling a laugh at the man’s ridiculous words. “And how would you explain knowing my name when I don’t remember giving it to you?”

“I have many resources.”

“Ah, so the Mr. Not-A-Serial-Killer pulled a few strings to find information about a person he does  _ not  _ want to kill?”

“Fair point but I swear to you that I did not expect to meet you here. The last time I checked, highschool students weren’t allowed in places like these.” Chanyeol smirked, taking a sip from his drink all while throwing a playful look towards Baekhyun.

“If it would help you sleep at night then sure.”

“So grumpy.” Chanyeol remarked, placing the glass back down on the marble countertop. “This place has horrible music.”

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “And what would  _ you  _ know about music?”

“How audacious! Of course I know a lot about music! I used to be in a band back in my time at school!”

“You saying back in my time makes me think you’re actually really old and crusty.” 

“Hey! I’m not that old! And we were pretty cool.” Chanyeol beamed. "We were called the Lumberjacks of Death—don't ask why—it was funny and childish but we were pretty dedicated then."

“So you disbanded?”

“Disbanding sounds way too serious but I guess it was never my fate to be a rockstar.”

Baekhyun giggled at that. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol but something about Chanyeol was just so funny that he couldn’t help but laugh.

“For an old hag, you are quite entertaining, Chanyeol.”

“Oh I could be entertaining in many ways.”

The pair stared at each other in an odd way, as if it were a silent conversation. Their glances battled each other until their heartbeats quickened its pace and they found themselves shifting uncomfortably at the tension.

Baekhyun made the first move, leaning towards Chanyeol as he planted his lips on the older’s soft ones. His heart skipped a bit when Chanyeol reciprocated the kiss. The kiss is slow, almost curious and wandering. Like they were still hesitant and cautious but it was still so hot and good anyway. They pulled apart and heaved deep breaths. 

Calculating. As if they were reading each other’s minds until Baekhyun finally spoke.

“Let’s get out of here.”

//

Baekhyun wondered when was the last time he actually felt good during sex. 

Ah right. Kai. 

But Baekhyun seemed to forget all about Kai for a moment when Chanyeol hoisted him up, carrying him by the waist as they walked out of the lift, leading the two of them towards a condo unit. Baekhyun briefly wondered if this was Chanyeol’s place but he supposed a rich-looking-man like him would have more than just one place.

Baekhyun’s mind was questioning his own actions. His rationality was trying to make its way out and remind him of what he was about to do.

Baekhyun was about to have a one-night stand with a man he doesn’t plan to be serious with. Oh, and with no payment too because that’s just the cherry on top in this one big pile of a mistake.

But what was rationality’s upper hand against the burning pleasure that coursed through Baekhyun’s system? Because Baekhyun was sure as hell rationality was thrown down the drain the moment Chanyeol kissed him with so much fervor that he actually forgot his own principles.

Chanyeol opened the door to his penthouse and Baekhyun did not get much time to admire the interior as he immediately felt his body planted onto a soft plush bed. Chanyeol hovered over Baekhyun, eyes dripping with hazy lust.

In the room that is twilight and shadow, Baekhyun wrapped his hands around Chanyeol’s back and in one gentle pull, their skin touched once again. 

Unlike Kai, Chanyeol’s hands were soft but they were rough. No hint of gentleness in its movements but the heavy weight felt good on Baekhyun’s waist. 

Unlike Kai who took his time, Chanyeol was hasty and rash but every move, every touch had purpose.

Unlike Kai, Chanyeol did not ask him anything because he just knew how to make Baekhyun feel good.

But if Baekhyun was to point out a similarity in this comparison that he’s making while he is practically about to have sex with another man, he would say that Chanyeol and Jongin both shared the same look. The same eyes that looked at him with want but with a hidden tinge of hesitation.

And frankly, Baekhyun doesn’t even know why he is comparing Kai to Chanyeol when the man wasn’t even in the picture. It bugged him how Kai haunted his thoughts even when he was with another man. That was freaky and it would be ungrateful of him even because Chanyeol was giving him a different kind of pleasure that was like a drug. So intoxicating, so captivating and so, so difficult to get out of.

He didn’t even realize that he was now bare naked on Chanyeol’s bed while the taller man was still in his polo and dress pants, looking so hot and gorgeous. Baekhyun was sure he already formed some sort of hand kink, staring at the prominent veins on Chanyeol’s huge hands.

Yup, drinking was totally a bad idea.

Baekhyun, deep in his thoughts, gasped in shock when he felt a prodding hand in his aching cock. It was painfully hard and leaking with so much pre-cum that Baekhyun actually felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

Baekhyun whimpered when Chanyeol gave a teasing tug at it, a simple touch causing big waves of sensations.

“Please…”

Chanyeol did not respond, placing two fingers on Baekhyun’s mouth. The younger took it gladly, sucking delicately at the soft fingers as he swirled his tongue around the tip, coating it with a thick layer of his own saliva.

Chanyeol threw him a grin. He pulled the fingers out and slowly brought them to Baekhyun’s throbbing heat. With no warning, Chanyeol easily shoved in the fingers, curling within the tight walls of the smaller man. 

Baekhyun’s mouth could only drop open, unable to form a coherent sentence because he didn’t even know what he wanted to say in the first place. He arched his back and thrusted his hips to meet Chanyeol’s fingers with just as much ferocity.

Baekhyun was glad Chanyeol bothered with four fingers because when he finally pulled out his own erection from the confines of his black dress pants, Baekhyun wondered how that monster of a cock was supposed to fit in him. Yeah, drunk Baekhyun was ridiculous because he has had sex with dicks of a similar size and even bigger but here he was, terrified that just another dick would tear him into paralysis.

Chanyeol put on a condom himself, looking at Baekhyun shamelessly as he did so. With one final look and a nod of approval from Baekhyun, Chanyeol thrusted into him in one go. Deep. Hard. Rough.

Chanyeol pulled out until only the tip was inside before he fucked back in, filling Baekhyun to the brim. Baekhyun’s rim ached terribly at the stretch from the base of Chanyeol’s member but it all feels so good that he doesn’t even mind. He closed his eyes, feeling like his eyeballs were rolling at the back of his mind.

Baekhyun moaned in delirium, his helpless mewls and whimpers reverberating across the silent room and he was glad Chanyeol had no neighbors but he hoped the floor beneath was thick enough to mask the obscene sounds.

Chanyeol continued his thrusts, not bothering to slow down because he knew Baekhyun was enjoying it too. He just knew and with that knowledge, he built his resolve to grow even bigger. The resolve to show Baekhyun how good a person could feel. The resolve to show him what the highest intensity of pleasure felt like. And boy did Baekhyun feel all that Chanyeol wanted him to feel.

It was too good. Too hot. Too much.

Baekhyun’s body shook as he felt his peak come nearer. It felt so close yet so far and he didn’t know how he would get there so he simply begged.

“More...Nggh—Please, Chan—” Chanyeol immediately obliged without hearing the rest of it, rocking deeper into him as if he was making sure that Baekhyun would feel the shape of his own member inside him for days. In a desperate chase for release, Baekhyun met his thrusts.

With the intensity, it didn’t take long before Baekhyun finally came untouched. His hole was getting more and more sensitive as Chanyeol continued his movements in a chase for his own peak. He grunted low against Baekhyun’s ear before he too finally came, hot white ropes of cum gushing out of his cock and filling the rubber protection.

Chanyeol removed the condom and tied it before throwing it on the trashcan that stood just beside the bed. He sighed in exhaustion before looking at his partner who seemed just about as tired.

But it was in one look at Baekhyun’s wrecked face, tears and drool coating his face and his own cum covering the expanse of skin on his flat stomach, that Chanyeol felt his own member grow hard once again.

“Care for one more round?” Chanyeol smirked playfully.

  
  


//

To say Jongin had a bad day at work would be an understatement. 

It was hectic and as much as he actually liked his work, clients who flocked at their firm had extreme tendencies to be annoying.

“Why didn’t you tell me you threatened the plaintiff as a joke?!” Jongin cried out, slamming the file on the table making his client flinch from where he sat at one of the leather couches in Jongin’s office.

“I told you to tell me everything because you might as well let me know all the loopholes so we can find an alibi for it rather than letting the prosecution find out all about it while I stand there cluelessly! You had one job!”

“It was a harmless threat!”

“I know and if you told me about it then I would have come up with something to counter that argument! Isn’t that exactly what I’m here for? Your defense lawyer?” 

“I was afraid they would immediately think I actually did it just because I threatened her one time for fun!”

“Whether you were afraid or not, they would have found out about it anyway and what better way to go to jail than leave your lawyer in the dark, right?”

“I-it’s just the first trial! Please help me sir!”

Jongin scoffed and tipped his head back in disbelief before looking pointedly at the defendant. 

“I’ll do what I can so please leave now. Expect a call from my assistant if you are needed.”

When the client finally left, Jongin flopped his body onto his office chair. He loosened his tie as his mind tried to summarize all the mess that has managed to fill his day.

His client was a 30-year old man who had been accused by the plaintiff of murder, claiming that the defendant had killed the woman’s daughter.

His schedule was packed and his desk was filled with files piled upon files. He hadn’t even been able to eat a decent lunch when all the police reports suddenly came to be checked.

One of his team members also managed to fuck up the one job they had to research all about the plaintiff’s daughter’s medical history. 

The report drafts from his interns were also not satisfactory and Jongin couldn’t help but shout at them, asking what kind of an elementary piece of writing they had submitted to him. The young interns just looked at him with fear and instead of doing something about it, they tried to make it up by merely apologizing. 

“Don’t apologize and work your asses off because you don’t want to apologize to the client yourselves when you lead them to jail!”

Then the client they were speaking off had to be an actual buffoon as well, hiding key statements and necessary actions that could and would be used against them. A total moron if you asked Jongin because what was the use of a defense lawyer if you don’t give them the ability to defend you? 

To top it all off, Sehun was being the usual annoying fuck who kept asking him if he had considered his proposition at all.

So yes, to say Jongin was having a bad day would be a total understatement because all he could think of was “If this isn’t hell then I don’t know what it is.”

“Come on hyung! I told you that it’s probably the blue balls talking so why don’t you just go to—“

“You don’t blame my anger for the stupidity of my client and my team on my sexual frustration, you piece of shite!” Jongin groused, eyebrows knotting in annoyance.

“Yeah, totally. So...dinner then? With Mr. Lee–“

Without letting Sehun finish his words, Jongin grumpily stood up from his seat, walking towards the coat rack to take his suit jacket. Sehun only watched him silently as the older wore the jacket and grabbed his bag from under his desk.

“Wait...you’re really going?”

“Shut the fuck up Oh and make sure you teach those interns a lesson. If I don’t receive a decent draft by tomorrow then I’ll throw you all myself to the deepest pits of hell.”

“Ooh...spicy! Do know that I personally like a bit of pain!” Sehun giggled obnoxiously and Jongin swore if he stayed a second longer in that room, his brain would explode and his sanity would seep out of his pores so he did himself a favor and stormed out of the room, making sure to slam the door so loud. He hoped that it might have actually hit some sense into his paralegal.

The main road that led to Jongin and Chanyeol’s condo tower was too packed with cars. Jongin did not have enough patience for all of that, really, and all he wanted right now was to lash out all the pent-up stress and anger. Jongin was waiting for the stop light at an intersection and the way to their flat is straight ahead.

Yet as the stop light turned green, Jongin steered the wheel, swiftly driving towards the left side and he was sure that is definitely not the way back home. 

Jongin drove mindlessly like he was possessed and his own body was acting on its own. He did not know where he was going but he just drove without much thought. And as the streets got more narrow and the red bright lights glowed upon his face, the more Jongin actually recognized the familiar place. 

_ The red-light district.  _

Jongin once again found himself stopping in front of the familiar building that was the very source of his own dilemma. With no other words, he stepped out of the car and headed straight towards the lobby where the familiar woman in a high ponytail approached him. 

“You’re back, sir! Would you like to receive the same service?”

“Is...Is Ruby available?” Jongin internally winced at the way he had said that like Ruby was some sort of object being sold.

The woman threw him an apologetic look. 

“I apologize, sir, but Ruby is not in right now.”

“Oh.” The woman noticed the look of disappointment on the man’s face so she immediately spoke again.

“But we have other people available! Some of the same quality as Ruby! I’m sure you would like my boys, no?”

Jongin ran a hand through his hair and smiled politely. “That won’t be necessary. I should probably take my leave now anyway.”

The woman bowed and offered a card to Jongin.

“Then do call this number if you are planning to come back. I’ll make sure to reserve Ruby for you once he is available. Thank you sir.”

Jongin took it wordlessly and turned on his heel, walking straight back into his car. Before he started driving, he exhaled loudly, hitting his head against the steering wheel.

A few minutes of silence and he finally looked up, bringing up the card in his hand as he inspected it.

Jongin thought he was an ungrateful bastard, cheating once on his boyfriend without telling him and now here he was, about to do it again.

Jongin was disappointed to reach their penthouse that night only to find no traces of Chanyeol. He only thought that maybe, the latter was too busy with work so Jongin cleaned himself up and laid in his bed to give himself a much needed rest. 

  
  
  


//

  
  


_ Transcript of Kim Jongdae’s Statement. Part II. _

_ Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 28, 2021. _

_ Det. Ahn: Could you explain in detail what happened that night you found him?  _

_ Jongdae: It was around 2 AM. _

_ Det. Ahn: [Types on keyboard] _

_ Jongdae: We had some sort of argument a few weeks before that. _

_ Det. Ahn: May I know what it was about.  _

_ Jongdae: It was...it was just a petty fight, nothing much and that doesn’t matter. But the point is, I never really expected Baekhyun on that night. _

_ Jongdae: Prior to that night, Baekhyun hadn’t been to school for a few days so I just thought he was sick or something came up. _

_ Det. Ahn: Did you visit him along that timeline? _

_ Jongdae: No, sir. Like I said, we had a petty fight and Baekhyun when mad is not a good Baekhyun to deal with because he would just stop talking to you and ignore you like the plague. _

_ Det. Ahn: I see. Continue. _

_ Jongdae: And then he just came knocking into my door. I heard him shouting and then the doorbell was continuously ringing, _

_ Det. Ahn: What was he saying?  _

_ Jongdae: He was shouting my name and asking me to open the door. And I did, groggily so, because I had just been woken up from a deep sleep. _

_ Jongdae: The next thing I know is that he was crying into my arms, saying incoherent words that I didn’t manage to understand. _

_ Det. Ahn: How did he act? _

_ Jongdae: Like he was on the run. Like someone would come after him. The panic in his eyes was too much to handle and I was afraid that if he didn’t stop, he would pass out right in my doorstep. _

_ Det. Ahn: Did he tell you what was happening? _

_ Jongdae: No. He just kept chanting “help me”. I didn’t know what was happening and I was scared. _

_ Det Ahn: And you didn’t call the police? _

_ Jongdae: No, sir. I don’t even know what I would report if I did call them. _

_ Det. Ahn: But like you said, you thought someone was going to come after him.  _

_ Jongdae: That was not really on the top list of my priority because I had to make sure Baekhyun didn’t pass out on me. He was too shaken up. _

_ Det. Ahn: [Clicks tongue] And how am I supposed to believe that? There weren’t any CCTV cameras to prove that Mr. Byun had indeed come to your house. _

_ Jongdae: Forgive me but I seriously don’t understand why you would even think of that. I come as a witness not as an evidence source. _

_ Det. Ahn: Mr. Kim, I am simply trying to look at this case in different angles than just one.  _

_ Jongdae: Yeah, sure. And you think I’m going to make up a whole story? _

_ Det. Ahn: I don’t see why that is not a possibility. The Deputy Minister has many enemies. _

_ Jongdae: My best friend was crying in front of me! He was begging me to help him and you don’t know how I was scared shitless so don’t ever think for a second that I’m trying to fabricate my statement! _

_ Det. Ahn: Point taken, but do know that I’m still working hands on with the police and I hope you are aware of the consequences if we manage to find a loophole in your statements. _

_ Jongdae: Fuck off, Detective. _

_ to be continued _

_ // _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts???
> 
> thank you for reading! 
> 
> stay safe and healthy! ♡


	6. apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is regretful.
> 
> Jongin and Chanyeol talk.
> 
> And Jongdae hates Minseok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! sorry for the late update bcs i’ve been busy with college entrance exams 🥺
> 
> i hope you like the update though!
> 
> enjoy reading ♡

//

The warm sunlight streaked through the windows, awaiting entrance in Chanyeol’s closed eyes. Still stuck in the clutches of the night, Chanyeol rubbed the sleep off his eyes before finally looking around him.

The condo unit barely had a use but Chanyeol took it as one of his many runaway places when things got rough and human interaction was just too much. And as much as he enjoyed solitude, it felt so good, waking up to the presence of the boy from last night.

Last night’s events had surely been feeding the monsters that resided inside Chanyeol. To taste was to crave and now that he had managed to bed Baekhyun, Chanyeol is left wanting for more. He hated how his thoughts were so sinful and so dark when Baekhyun was sleeping beside him so innocently. So clueless. So naive. So vulnerable.

But he fed off of it and continued drinking in the features of the petite man. Baekhyun’s face reeked of innocence and demurity with his cute button nose, rosy cheekbones and soft, plump lips in the beautiful shade of rose pink. Besides wanting those thin lips to wrap around his cock, Chanyeol wanted to kiss them. To feel them against his own and to savour its warmth like it was a ripe fruit in season. 

He wished this moment would last a bit longer. He wanted to take this time to just stare at the younger boy’s pretty face and ignore reality. Chanyeol liked his Saturday mornings to be peaceful and as much as possible, he wanted to do little to no movement. 

He would spend these moments with Jogin, cuddling under the soft blankets as they just stared into each other’s eyes, talking about random stuff. It was never boring because they get to learn new things about each other everyday. And seeing Baekhyun sleeping beside him, made Chanyeol want to do the same with Baekhyun.

He wanted to wake up next to Baekhyun. He wanted to see him first thing in the morning. He wanted to listen to Baekhyun’s groggy voice. He wanted to see his droopy eyes when he awoke.

And Chanyeol thanked the heavens when his wishes came true as Baekhyun woke up, rubbing his eyes like a baby while his hair stuck out into random directions. Chanyeol watched how in a split second, the look of loss in Baekhyun turned into that of horror as he finally processed his surroundings. His eyes turned wide and his small hands quickly slapped against his own mouth to prevent himself from shrieking out.

“O-oh my god! I-I’m sorry!” The young boy exclaimed and jumped out of the bed, pulling the blanket to cover his body as he started gathering his clothes from the floor in panic. Chanyeol frowned and stood up, holding Baekhyun’s wrist to prevent him from moving any further. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Y-you—We...Oh heavens! I have to go now!” Baekhyun squawked, desperately trying to pull his arms from Chanyeol’s hold.

“Why? It’s too early.”

“N-no...I uh—I have school aha!” 

“No you don’t. It’s Saturday.” Chanyeol deadpanned.

“Ah, right but I really have to go!”

“I’ll drive you.”

Baekhyun’s eyes comically widened if that was still possible as he frantically shook his head no. “I can manage, really.”

“I insist. Look, I can just drop you off at the same bus stop if you don’t want me to know your place. Just let me at least drive you.”

Baekhyun briefly thought about it before he nodded hesitantly, earning a bright smile from the taller man. Baekhyun clutched the blanket closer to his chest.

“Do you wanna take a shower first?”

“No! I’ll do it at home!”

He stared at Baekhyun for a moment before he looked away. “Okay. Let me just go change.” And then he scurried out, heading for the bathroom.

It didn’t take long for Chanyeol to change and set his mind straight, pushing down his thoughts for a while because he can’t trust himself to function well if he continued thinking of them.

When he came back out to the room, Baekhyun was already in his clothes from last night and possibly more than ready to get the hell out of the place so Chanyeol did him a favor and finally ushered him out, grabbing his car keys.

As they reached the car, the pair stayed silent, not saying anything to each other. Chanyeol opened the door for Baekhyun who got into the shotgun seat with a slight blush at the gesture. Chanyeol smiled, walking around to get into the driver’s seat. 

They quickly drove out of the condominium’s parking area and to deal with the tense atmosphere, Chanyeol decided to speak.

"Would you like to turn on the radio?" 

Baekhyun simply nodded as a reply and reached out, turning on the radio. He smiled faintly when a familiar song came up. He leaned back on his seat, looking outside.

" _ Can I run and hide? I’m stuck inside my memories.”  _ Baekhyun whipped his head to look at Chanyeol who sang nonchalantly, still looking at the road.

" _ Step away from time, _ " Chanyeol looked back at Baekhyun and their eyes met, a fond smile making its way to Chanyeol’s features when he heard Baekhyun sing along, " _ Take me to a place where i will never grow old. _ "

"So you were serious about Lumberjacks of Death?" Baekhyun giggled, making Chanyeol grin cheekily, staring back at the road with one hand on the steering wheel. "Of course! I was the vocalist."

"I thought you'd be in bass or something."

"You seem to assume a lot about me."

"I make pretty good guesses."

"Doesn't seem like it." Chanyeol snorted and shook his head.

No one said anything after that but the silence that enveloped the atmosphere this time was calm and comforting. Two hearts thumping against their own chests, eyes sparkling in what one would call wonder and cheeks aching from the frequent upward stretches of their mouths.  _ It felt just right _ . The two of them in the car and with Sam Kim playing on the radio, nothing could be more comfortable than this and so they savoured the new feeling.

But it really wouldn’t be Baekhyun if he accepted all of those easily because the Baekhyun that sat beside Chanyeol was a person who wouldn’t let anyone into his heart so quickly. This Baekhyun had shut the doors to his heart so tight that if anyone dared to come closer, his first instinct would be to push it away.

“Last night was a mistake.” Baekhyun suddenly said, earning a frown from Chanyeol.   
  


“A mistake.” Chanyeol repeated in disbelief.

“This never should have happened Chanyeol. We were drunk okay and it was stupid of me but I’ll forget this one time. It won’t happen again.”

Chanyeol’s heart dropped at the revelation, swallowing the lump at the back of his throat, he nodded meekly. In no time, they reached the bus stop and suddenly, Chanyeol’s heart was just too heavy. 

The thought that this might be the last time he’ll see Baekhyun was just too terrifying. Chanyeol wasn’t ready for that. He hasn’t even done everything he wanted to do with Baekhyun. He wasn’t even able to know the younger as deep as he first intended to be. Chanyeol felt regretful but he couldn’t do anything when Baekhyun’s eyes looked so miserable as he got out of the car. 

Before closing the door, Baekhyun handed out a card to Chanyeol.

“Maybe we can meet again, but not as friends, Chanyeol-ssi.” Baekhyun whispered softly, scared that his own voice might betray him and then he left. He left Chanyeol to stare at his disappearing figure. He left Chanyeol to drown in his own thoughts. 

And he left Chanyeol in extreme confusion as he read the words on the card,

_ “Ruby.” _

//

Jongin and Chanyeol both understood that spending some lonely nights came with their job. 

So Jongin really shouldn’t be surprised when Chanyeol didn’t come home last night because he too, has had his fair share of times when he spent nights in his office for cases that needed a bit much more attention. 

It wasn’t a secret that Jongin hated waking up alone but he would say that he hated seeing Chanyeol come home, looking so tired more. He would always welcome the latter with a comforting smile every time he entered the door, making sure he prepared something to eat with what little knowledge he had about cooking.

But when Chanyeol entered their penthouse, Jongin knew something was wrong. Sure, Chanyeol looked worn out, eyes downcast and hair unruly. He breathed heavily, dropping his stuff on the floor lazily as Jongin approached him with a worried frown, helping him take his jacket suit off.

“Have you eaten breakfast?” Jongin asked cautiously, sitting beside Chanyeol who flopped his body on the couch. The older man shook his head no and closed his eyes, letting Jongin’s scent calm his nerves down.

“What’s wrong Yeol?” Jongin whispered, running his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair. His thumb lightly brushed against the latter’s forehead, massaging the creases on the smooth skin. 

Chanyeol opened his eyes, staring straight back at Jongin’s. 

Jongin’s throat ran dry as every fiber in his body soaked in the emotions that dripped from Chanyeol’s eyes. They looked weary and carried some sort of feeling like  _ regret _ .

“You know I love you right?” Chanyeol whispered in a voice so low that Jongin may have not heard him if he was an inch farther away. And that was odd because Chanyeol had sounded exactly like Jongin did a few nights ago.

“Of course I do. You tell me that everyday.” Jongin smiled in an attempt to lighten up the mood but to no avail, Chanyeol could only stare at him.

And Jongin watched how, in a split second, Chanyeol’s stoic face crumpled, eyes welling up with tears. Chanyeol clasped Jongin’s hands tight into his and the first tear rolled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to do it.”

Jongin frowned, silently watching his lover break down in front of him. 

“I just—I didn’t know what came into me and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep this to you!” Chanyeol sobbed, voice breaking at the end of his sentences. “There’s this boy…”

Jongin could feel his heart rate pick up at that and he hated that for some reason, he had an idea on what Chanyeol would say. 

“I slept with him…”

Jongin’s breath hitched, eyes burning with intensity. Jongin felt like the whole ground just crashed on top of him, he couldn’t find the words to say. He felt like running away. He felt like lashing out and puking his guts out. But Chanyeol and Jongin never resolved their problems that way.

Jongin liked to believe he was a man with a calm and clear mind when problems arose but here was Chanyeol right in front of him, apologizing for the same reason Jongin was sorry about. 

And it would be hypocritical of Jongin to be mad at Chanyeol when he had done exactly the same thing. He didn’t know how he was going to take this in. If Jongin knew this was what Chanyeol would feel if he had told him the truth as well, then maybe Jongin wouldn’t have cheated all because damn did it hurt. It hurt Jongin to think that he may have lacked. That he wasn’t enough for Chanyeol to stick with.

That there was something wrong about him for Chanyeol to come looking elsewhere. 

_ But he had done exactly the same to Chanyeol. _

“I…” Jongin began, not quite finding the words to say.

“I-I’m sorry! J-just you know that I love you but it was...it was just sex!” Chanyeol quickly added as if he would lose Jongin if he failed to explain himself at all.

“No...I—I slept with someone else too…” Jongin looked away, afraid that his lover would be looking at him with judging eyes. Eyes of loathing and resentment. Jongin didn’t want that. 

“You what?” Chanyeol completely stopped crying, forehead knotting in confusion.

“At a whorehouse...there was a boy I slept with…” Jongin whispered quietly.

And then silence.

The atmosphere weighed heavily upon them. Tension wrapping around the room like an elastic that was about to snap. Jongin’s heart could only pound with futility against its cage of bone and cartilage.

The wall clock ticked like the timer on a bomb. They can't stop it, reverse it or slow it down. Each tick dragged the two of them forward, helpless and nervous, afraid that if it took any longer then one of them would completely break and run away. So Jongin decided to break the deafening silence.

“Did...did it mean anything?”

Chanyeol looked at him for a moment before answering, “No…”

“For how long…?”

“J-just once. Last night. I swear it meant nothing! I just don’t know what came over me!”

“It meant nothing to me too. I love you more than anything else in the world and I’m not lying that it...it was just about sex.” 

“I’m sorry…” Chanyeol replied quietly.

“I’m sorry too…” Jongin closed his eyes and heaved a breath. “I’m sorry that we're like this. If there had been no problem between us in bed then this wouldn’t have happened at all…”

“I was...I was just attracted to the boy when I first met him and I couldn’t stop my curiosity.”

“Sehun...he suggested that we take a third party just to help us deal with it but I was afraid you’d take it the wrong way. I was afraid you would think you’re not enough and I—”

“Shh.” Chanyeol hushed him, wrapping his arms around the younger to engulf him in a tender hug. “It’s okay. We cleared it out to each other now. There’s...there’s no need to explain yourself. I understand you.” 

Jongin cried onto Chanyeol’s shoulder. Defenses eventually toppling down as he let his emotions out. There were so many reasons why he was crying but he couldn’t even figure it apart from each other.

“Let’s...let’s not keep secrets from each other again.”

“I forgive you Jongin. I know you more than anyone else and if you tell me it meant nothing then I will trust you with my whole heart.”

“I love you Yeol.”

“I love you.” Chanyeol breathed out, pulling away to plant a kiss on Jongin’s forehead. 

Jongin’s heart warmed at the gesture, eyes watering with so much love for the person in front of him so he whispered something he never thought he would ever say.

“Make love to me Yeol. Take me...even just this once.”

“Babe...you don’t have to—”

“No—I... I’m sure of this. If this is the last thing I haven’t given you then I’ll let you have it.”

Chanyeol smiled fondly at Jongin, leaning in to capture the younger’s lips in a tender kiss. 

“I’ll make you feel good…” Chanyeol pulled away as his hands travelled towards Jongin’s sweatpants. “And then maybe we can talk about a third party….” 

Jongin chuckled at the fox grin Chanyeol sported before he closed his eyes and let pleasure completely swallow him.

  
  


//

Baekhyun loved routines. 

Routines were the core of Baekhyun’s life. It was simple. Go to school, go to work and then go home. Baekhyun’s routine was a safe-zone. Going out of routine meant trouble and Baekhyun hated the unknown. He hated things that were anything remotely new or strange. 

But Baekhyun too, was a living paradox. He confirmed that after the recent events where all he’s ever done was go opposite from what he would tell himself because he sure as hell knew that, making a friend, developing attraction for a client and having sex with no payment was not part of his routine at all.

Baekhyun knew he was doomed. 

He was absolutely doomed. Gone were the promises to keep his sight on his goal straight. Gone were the daily pep talks about not getting distracted and that getting what he wanted was simply not for him.

All of those, gone just because of three people who decided to rush into his routine and break it.

And Baekhyun was not doing anything to stop it. If anything, he might have been adding fuel to the raging fire. He went along with Jongdae’s wishes, gave his workplace’s contact card to a man he should definitely distance himself from and of course, jerking off to a client’s image was just the cherry on top.

Baekhyun’s face went red at the mere thought of it as he chewed on his seaweed rice roll angrily. 

Baekhyun sat at his seat right in the middle of the excellently designed classroom. The technology in the room alone would speak plenty about how prestigious and esteemed their school was. A school full of rich, snobby students that grouped themselves into cliques and had daily conversations about their mommies buying them new stuff to brag about. And Baekhyun was just the dirt on the ground among the elites that littered the school.

A few minutes later and the professor finally entered the room. Students scurried off to their seats like insects as Mr. Yoon strutted towards the podium. With an exasperated sigh, he propped his hands on the surface of the white, sturdy podium and scanned the room.

"I am sure you are all aware that exams are coming in two weeks." Groans and whines filled the room to which Baekhyun rolled his eyes at. 

Mr. Yoon seemed to be just as annoyed when he hit his wooden pointer stick against the board. 

"Quit quacking like children if you don't want to say bye to your tickets to college. There's not much to do today because teachers are having a meeting but I do expect your essays on our discussion last Friday by the end of the day. I want your papers compiled and brought to my room after school. Give your papers to..." The professor trailed, looking for a particular face. "Jongdae." With that, the teacher left the room.

"Oh my god why should I?" The unlucky, chosen boy griped loudly.

"Suck it up nosebleed!" Minseok from the other side of the room chimed. Baekhyun internally laughed, recalling the incident of Jongdae having his nose jabbed by a student when he annoyed the latter by his endless squabbling with Minseok.

"Shut the fuck up limpdick!" Jongdae reddened in anger and jibed back.

"It wasn't like that when you were holding it two days ago though?" Minseok mused and stuck his tongue out as the audience roared in laughter, watching the pair in amusement. They should be tired of witnessing the pair’s daily squabbling by now but their funny and witty remarks to each other were truly too hilarious to be ignored.

Jongdae grumbled in his seat and it would be safe to say that he had already planned to crumple and throw Minseok's paper in the bin before submitting the other essays to Mr. Yoon later that day.

Baekhyun shook his head and turned to his left when he felt an arm sling over his shoulders. "Where the fuck were you last Friday night? You suddenly disappeared!" Jongdae groused on the seat beside Baekhyun that was now empty after he had pushed its owner away.

“You mean  _ you _ disappeared last night!” Baekhyun retorted, picking up his pen to start writing on his paper.

“In my defense, I asked you to go around with me and you didn’t want to! I wouldn’t waste my time sitting by the bar like a loner.”

“Yeah right.” Baekhyun snorted.

“Anyways, can I borrow your notes for Chem?” 

“And here I thought you were worried about me disappearing two nights ago.”

“Oh come on! You probably got the best dicking anyway.”

“Excuse me? I never told you I swung that way?”

“My gaydar is never wrong. It takes one to know one, sugarbun.” Jongdae hummed. 

Baekhyun scoffed at the remark and turned his head to throw a sarcastic grin which only made Jongin giggle obnoxiously. “So...notes for Chem?”

“No.”

“Pretty please? Exams are coming in like two weeks?” 

“Ask me again tomorrow and maybe I’ll agree.” Baekhyun chuckled, still writing on the piece of paper on his desk that was already filled halfway as he tried to ignore Jongdae’s whiny voice.

Baekhyun continued writing on his paper, not giving a care about Jongdae who endlessly whined beside him until he finally finished with a hard dot on the paper. Baekhyun stood up, slapping his essay on the desk in front of Jongdae before wordlessly walking out of the room.

  
  


//

Jongdae was truly, absolutely and certainly positive he hated Kim Minseok with every single fiber in his body. Sure they've had those fun moments where they fucked around but that is as far as their... _ relationship _ could go. 

Purely sexual with no strings attached. And maybe if Minseok hadn't been a good fuck, his brain would have been crushed to pieces and fed to birds. 

Jongdae let out a loud curse as he gathered the papers in his hand when the last shrill bell of dismissal rang. 

As he walked out of the classroom, he shuffled through the papers in his hand to find a specific one and when he found it, a sly smirk had evaded his features. 

He snickered quietly to himself before he pulled the paper named  _ Kim Minseok _ out of the stack and effectively crumpled it with one hand. He stopped right in front of the trash bin and threw the piece of paper. Once he was done and made sure no one saw him, he walked out of the scene nonchalantly and headed towards the teachers' office. 

As soon as he entered the room, he spotted Mr. Yoon sitting on his cubicle while a familiar scrawny boy stood in front of him with his head hung low. Jongdae immediately recognized him to be Baekhyun.

“You told me last time that you’ll do better but you seem to be slacking a lot? You were absent for more than five days a few weeks ago and now teachers are complaining to me about you sleeping in class.”

Baekhyun stayed silent, looking down at his shoes.

“Byun, I’m asking this for your own good. Is anything going on at home?”

“No, sir.”

“If this goes any longer I’m afraid I will have to request an audience with your guardian. Do you not live with your parents? You never filled out the parent information in your forms.”

“No sir. I-I only have my guardian.”

Jongdae shook his head rapidly, hitting his own cheek with his palm and mentally told himself to stop eavesdropping on their conversation.

Jongdae eyed them cautiously, slowly walking up to Mr. Yoon's desk before clearing his throat. "Uhh eh...the papers...sir?" The male teacher snapped his head to look at him and nodded.

Mr. Yoon motioned towards his table which Jongdae understood as he placed the stack of papers on the flat surface. He then moved away and turned on his heel, exhaling shakily as he left the room but not before looking back one last time at the boy being reprimanded.

Jongdae felt his throat run dry at the unexpected revelation. And now he understood why Baekhyun reacted so badly last time.  _ Baekhyun didn’t live with his parents. _

Jongdae’s heart tightened, feeling an immense amount of regret run through his system. Jongdae felt like an asshole.

But he just wanted to be friends with Baekhyun.

Jongdae remembered the first time he saw Baekhyun. It was in the second year of highschool and Jongdae had just transferred from a new school when he stumbled upon the younger boy.

He looked so frail and scrawny like he would break at the mere flick of the finger. Baekhyun’s whole being resembled that of a cute puppy and Jongdae had set his mind on making the younger boy his first friend. 

Yet with what innocence the boy carried in his looks, he paid for in his sass and extreme ability to make people tremble with his words. 

Baekhyun had once been cornered by silly bullies and Jongdae watched in astonishment how the smaller boy jabbed them back with hurtful facts and his remarks. It was funny how Jongdae even thought of stepping up when the boy didn’t need his help at all. 

Since then, Jongdae knew Baekhyun was different. With the way he avoided interaction with every single soul in their school, the way he skipped out of the extracurricular activities and the way he simply aced the tests and quizzes, Jongdae knew Baekhyun was not like the other kids around their age.

Jongdae found Baekhyun’s maturity amazing and wondered how such a young boy like him saw the world differently.

Jongdae had spent years trying to coax Baekhyun into being friends with him even after many futile attempts. He would bring an extra sandwich for Baekhyun. He would always sit beside the younger so he wouldn’t be alone during lunch. And he would never fail to crack a joke in an attempt to make the boy smile.

All of these attempts had been useless but Jongdae truly believed Baekhyun was worth it. Jongdae liked to believe Baekhyun actually appreciated his efforts and the heavens would know just how much Jongdae’s heart would warm at the mere sight of Baekhyun’s lips quirking into small smiles.

But Jongdae too had always been curious about how Baekhyun lived. Why was he so elusive about his life? Why didn’t he have fun with kids around his age?

Jongdae would always worry about how Baekhyun looked like he’d just fall apart and faint right in front of him. How Baekhyun looked like he was too tired to function more often than not. How Baekhyun would not even budge and try to push Jongdae away like he did in the beginning.

Jongdae hated it.

But Jongdae knew he was no hero. He was just some clingy, whiny kid who probably bothered Baekhyun more than he actually gave him reasons to be happy. And Jongdae could only wish that Baekhyun would find the happiness he deserved because watching stars lose their spark has always been the hardest for Jongdae.

He had experienced all of it first-hand after all. He witnessed how his own brother slowly sunk into a neverending trench of self-deprecation. How his smiles turned into helpless cries and how his words just remained locked up inside him, unable to come out and seek help. 

Jongdae doesn’t think he’ll ever be okay to watch it all fold out before him all over again. 

And despite the cold shoulder Baekhyun keeps on giving him, Jongdae would choose to stay by Baekhyun’s side as the annoying friend.

He smiled to himself as he stood outside the teacher’s office, waiting for Baekhyun to come out and more than ready to take him out on a fun trip to the mall.

Jongdae could almost hear the whine Baekhyun would let out as he clung onto his arm but it was all fine because he was Baekhyun.

_ And Baekhyun deserved to be happy. _

  
  


//

_ Transcript of Zhang Yixing’s Statement. Part II. _

_ Whereupon the following proceedings were recorded in Seoul Central District Police Department, October 28, 2021. _

_ Det. Ahn: I see. Would you be able to tell us more about Baekhyun-ssi? _

_ Yixing: I suppose I can... _

_ Det. Ahn: Great.  _

_ Yixing: Baekhyun is an elusive child, really.  _

_ Yixing: When I first found him, he was about thirteen or fourteen years old. He was homeless and he had nowhere else to go to. _

_ Det. Ahn: And you took him in? Just like that? Even after he tried to rob you? _

_ Yixing: He was a child and he was desperate, I don’t see why you would question my decisions. _

_ Det. Ahn: And you did it all for free? Giving shelter and food for a while, I would understand, but for a long time?  _

_ Yixing: It wasn’t a hard thing to do.  _

_ Det. Ahn: Why so? _

_ Yixing: I considered him as my own son. He was my only family after my husband passed away. _

_ Det. Ahn: Really? There was no...let's say...sort of services? _

_ Yixing: Services? _

_ Det. Ahn: Sexual services or anything of the sort? _

_ Yixing: By the angel! How could you even say such a thing! Baekhyun was a child! I wouldn't dare. _

_ Det. Ahn: Do understand that Baekhyun-ssi might be dear to you but underage prostitution is one of the key points to this case. _

_ Yixing: How is that even a key point?! _

_ Det. Ahn: There is no other explanation as to why Mr. Byun was found in the Deputy Minister's condominium that night.  _

_ Yixing: That still isn't a good enough reason for you to suspect me having sexual affairs with such a young kid! May the heavens forgive you! _

_ Det Ahn: Pardon me if I may have offended you but I am doing my job and if this is how I must conduct my interrogations to get the answers we need then I will do it this way. _

_ Yixing: You mean answers you want!  _

_ Det. Ahn: We all want justice. _

_ Yixing: [Scoffs]  _

_ Det. Ahn: Anyways. Let's proceed. Did Mr. Byun say anything to you about his past? _

_ Yixing: Not at first but he started to open up months after I took him in. _

_ Det. Ahn: What did he say?  _

_ Yixing: His parents were in debt. Their only mode of income was selling drugs and gambling. That was how they got by. _

_ Det. Ahn: And Baekhyun? _

_ Yixing: Baekhyun was an errand boy for the village elders. He said he knew nothing about what his parents did. He just realized it when he grew up. _

_ Det. Ahn: And how did he come to run away from home? _

_ Yixing: He said he found his parents passed out in their living room and left him a note. They said bad people were after them and told Baekhyun to run away and not report the incident of the police. And he did. _

_ Det. Ahn: And you believe he was saying the truth?  _

_ Yixing: Even if I didn't, Baekhyun couldn't possibly have done anything wrong! _

_ Det. Ahn: I see. That would be enough for now. I'd let my assistant contact you for additional questions. Thank you. _

_ to be continued _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? please drop comments about the progression of the story so far! comments would be highly appreciated especially now that i’m in some kind of slump ):

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> stay safe and healthy!♡


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